Multiple Finger Play for Beginners

Hi. My name is Julia. Today, we’re going to be talking about fisting and gently exploring this exciting sexual act. Fisting is something that can be enjoyed by anyone with a vagina. It’s a form of penetration that, when done correctly, can feel incredibly fulfilling. It may sound intense, but that’s why we start slow. Fisting can be done gently, roughly, or however, you and your partner would like. And, despite the name, it doesn’t actually involve making a fist with your hand... it’s more like making the shape of a duck beak with your fingers and thumb.

So, just like any other new sex act you and your partner bring into the bedroom, communication is key here. As is preparation. It’s always a good idea to talk about trying something new in bed at a neutral time, not when you’re about to have sex. This is simply to give you and your partner time to think about it and come to a decision without the pressure of trying it right away. It’s probably safe to say that if you and your partner are currently listening to this episode, then you’ve had some preliminary discussions about trying out fisting. Or, that you’ve both at least expressed interest in it.

If you haven’t already discussed trying this out together, pause this episode now and take a little bit of time to make sure you’re both on the same page. Talk together about who will be giving and who will be receiving. Once you and your partner have discussed the details, you can start this episode again and begin preparing. Ready, then? Alright, let’s get started.

Before you and your partner attempt fisting, make sure that whoever is going to do the fisting has clean nails that have been trimmed short. If the giver in this situation has long or otherwise manicured nails, don’t worry. You don’t have to sacrifice your nails to fist your partner. A little trick you can do is to wear disposable gloves and place cotton balls in each of the fingers of the glove before you put it on. This will keep your partner safe and comfortable when you’re penetrating them. Fisting also requires a lot of lube, so make sure you have some on hand when you’re ready to try this out. You’ll likely have the most success with a long-lasting and durable lubricant that’s silicone-based. Pause the episode here, if you need to, to grab your favorite lube and clean or trim your fingernails.

All good, then? Great, let’s move on.

When you’ve got everything ready, you and your partner can begin your typical foreplay – however that may look and feel for you. It’s important that whoever is getting fisted has enough time to build up sufficient arousal. Patience is sometimes necessary for getting wet enough, as everyone’s vagina can take various amounts of time to reach climax. I’m going to give you a little bit of time here to start getting intimate and aroused.

How are you two doing? Are you both aroused and ready to move on? Feel free to pause the episode if you and your partner need a little bit more time to warm up.

If you’re both feeling ready, grab some lube (and a glove if you would like) and rub it all over. From your fingers down to your wrist. Now, let’s get started.

We’re going to begin with just two fingers at first. If you’re the one giving, slowly insert two fingers inside your partner. Take a few moments here to assess your partner’s body language. If they’re comfortable, you can start to gently stroke their inner walls with the pads of your fingers. You can gently thrust your fingers in… and out. Whenever the both of you feel ready, try inserting a third finger inside.

How does that feel? Three fingers can often make someone feel slightly stretched out or filled up, which can be very pleasurable. Keep the pace slow as you continue to stroke the inner walls of your partner’s vagina or gently fucking them with small thrusts. Now is a good time to take a few moments to make sure your partner is comfortable. If you need to, you can pull out and get some more lube, or try readjusting the position of your fingers. Your partner might feel that three fingers is the limit they are comfortable with. If that’s the case, you can try multiple sessions to work your way up to more fingers being added in.

When you’re both ready, gently let your fourth finger, which will likely be your pinky, slide in alongside the others. You can fuck your partner with slow, gentle thrusts of your hand, or curl your fingers up and down to stroke their inner walls. Keep checking in with your partner to make sure it feels good.

Now, to fully fist your partner, you’ll need to insert your thumb inside of them as well. This will require curling your hand just slightly so that together your fingers and thumb form a ‘duck beak.’ It may sound silly, but once you make this gesture with your hand, you will see that’s exactly what it looks like. You’ll press the pad of your thumb up against your four other fingertips simultaneously to achieve this. Again, make sure your partner is comfortable. If you’re doing it correctly, it should be quite pleasurable. Fisting should never be painful. If it is, your partner may need more time to adjust to different fingers being added or you may need to adjust your hand position.

If your partner is enjoying themselves, continue pressing your entire hand forward, but don’t force it. If your partner is relaxed and aroused enough, you’ll begin to feel your knuckles pressing up against their vaginal opening. You may need to pause to get more lube here.

Keep pushing very gently until the full length of your hand is inside. You’ll feel the vagina opening up and stretching apart to allow you in. At this point, you need to be extremely careful and aware of the sensations your partner is feeling. Experiment with keeping your hand still, offering small movements of your fingers, or thrusting your hand gently forwards and back. You can also slowly twist your wrist around slightly to give them pleasure. Everyone enjoys something different and it may take time for you and your partner to discover what feels best for them.

When you would like to remove your hand, go very, very slowly and be mindful of not making any sudden or forceful movements. I’m going to give you some time now to be alone and continue experimenting. I’ll check back in with you in just a bit. Remember to stay aware of each other’s comfort and pleasure in these moments.

Don’t force yourself to feel good. Let pleasure come naturally to you…

Relax into the physical sensations you’re feeling…

Stay aware of your partner’s body language...

Thank yourself for trying something new today...

Congratulate yourself and your partner for trying out something new together. Fisting is an activity that doesn’t aim to bring the receiver to climax necessarily. It can just be something fun and pleasurable to add to your bedroom activities in conjunction with toys or other activities for clitoral pleasure. As always, make sure that you communicate with one another to ensure everyone has the best experience. I hope that this session has given you something new to try on your journey towards cultivating pleasure. We hope that you’ll join us again soon for another session.