How to Flirt

Hi there. My name is Alice. Let’s talk about flirting. When was the last time you caught someone’s eye from across the room? Or the last time you sent someone a suggestive text message? Are you someone who feels confident making your desires known? Or maybe you prefer to be approached by others.

Whether you’re sending or receiving intimate signals, there’s always a sense of excitement and anticipation involved with flirting...if the advances are welcomed, that is.

It’s no secret that some people are really, really good at flirting. For some, conversation and intimate moments come naturally. For others, it doesn’t.What makes someone a good flirt? What is at the core of something that’s so hard to define?

The art of flirting and seduction are skills, which means they can be learned and improved upon with practice.

Close your eyes for a moment...I want you to try and conjure up a memory of the last time you were flirted with...whether it was from your partner…or a friend…or a stranger.

If you can’t think of anything right away, that’s okay. Just think about how you would like to be approached and flirted with by someone you find attractive.

Maybe you’re out at a bar…or at a dinner party with friends. Does the person look you up and down from across the room? Do they approach you and try to speak with you? Do they offer to buy you a drink or chat with you about the possibility of meeting for dinner sometime?

Think about the specific details of what makes an encounter like this successful. Focus on what you feel went right in the scenario. Did they look you in the eyes in a way that suggested something more? Did you offer them a compliment that shifted the conversation from casual to intimate?

It’s likely that, whatever happened, one person in the conversation elicited a feeling of desirability in the other person. Perhaps they made you feel special or unique. Or perhaps you made them feel confident and sexy. These are the things that you’re going to want to remember the next time you want to flirt with someone.

Now, I want you to think about the things you can do in order to improve your seduction skills. Communication doesn’t always have to be verbal. For instance, we can show our desire for others through touch. It doesn’t have to be inappropriate...it could be a simple touch on the shoulder or arm. You can send signals to someone that you find attractive, or you can tell them outright. It comes down to what you feel most comfortable with, and what is most natural in the situation you’re in.

One of the simplest ways of communicating desire is eye contact. If you’re trying to get someone’s attention, or having a conversation and trying to get to know them, eye contact is very important. Our eyes can communicate a lot of emotion and, despite your best intentions, yours will likely give away your feelings or thoughts about that person.

Another way to communicate desire is to be aware of your body language. Crossing your arms over your chest or being turned away from whomever you’re communicating with might send the signal that you’re disinterested. Try to keep your body open and neutral. When applicable and appropriate, lean in towards the person you’re flirting with.

When it comes to verbal communication, there are many different methods of attracting someone’s attention. How you verbally communicate your desires will change depending on the person you’re talking to. While speaking during initial conversations with a new potential match or friend, you want to avoid topics that might be distasteful or controversial.

Keep it simple and neutral. Ask them about themselves. Compliment them. Make them feel special.

The strongest method of making your desire known is through physical touch. Whether you’re seducing your partner or speaking with someone for the first time, consent is the most important factor. If necessary, ask for permission to hug someone, to dance with them, or to hold their hand.

Small touches, like hands brushing up against one another, or pressing your knee against someone else’s beneath a table, are very subtle and gentle ways of indicating your desire for someone. The next time you want to flirt with someone, try a combination of these techniques –– eye contact, verbal seduction, and physical touch.

Different people enjoy different approaches, and you may find that one approach comes more naturally to you. Having your advances rejected by someone doesn’t mean you’re not desirable. A successful seduction is based on many factors, and having your advances rejected by someone doesn’t mean you’re not desirable.

Flirting is an art, and just as a painting can be interpreted differently by all those who view it, flirtations can be unique to every situation.

To end this session, I’d like you to repeat after me...

“I am confident.”

“I am sexy.”

“I can master the art of flirting.”

Good. I hope this session has helped you in your quest to make your desires known. Feel free to repeat these mantras or play this episode whenever you need to.