Patience II

I really didn’t expect to be in your apartment tonight. In your bed, in my underwear, watching you pace back and forth between your closet and the bed while you pack your suitcase.

I usually spend weekends binge-watching TV on the couch or just catching up on sleep. But you’re leaving tomorrow to spend a couple of weeks in Taiwan and you wanted to meet up before you left.

Your place is… different from mine. Everything is so… sleek. Smooth lines and polished surfaces.

I still don’t know much about you, but I honestly kind of prefer it that way. It keeps things simple between us. I come to you for one very specific thing and that’s all.

I tell stories about you in my head as I watch you walk around your room.

I bet you’re the kind of guy who meditates, or maybe journals every night before bed. Or the reason you’re so neat and tidy is because you spent your formative years in military school. That would explain the interest in strict discipline.

“Um… anyway, yeah, so a few days on the northern coast—there’s some great rock climbing there—and then we’ll just be hanging around Taipei. My friend’s got some family there.”

“Nice. I love that you and your guy friends take so many trips together.”

I play with one of the cuffs from your under-the-bed restraints, sliding the velcro through my fingers, wondering what it would feel like around my wrist.

I’ve been here for a little over half an hour and I’m getting antsy. A little anxious about whatever’s coming.

I think you did this on purpose. Invited me over just to make me watch you do some menial task, all the while I’m squirming in your bed, hardly able to think about anything but what you’re going to be doing to me.

“Okay, sorry you had to watch me do that incredibly boring task. But thanks for your input on my outfit choices. Now… what would you like to do tonight? ”

“I don’t really know. I guess… No blindfold tonight. I want to look at you while you… do whatever it is… you’re going to do.”

“Okay. No blindfold. What else?”

“Um… I… I don’t know. I guess I was expecting you to… make all the decisions.”

“Oh, I will. Once I have an idea of… what kind of itch you need scratched tonight.”

“Sorry, I’m not… not really used to this.”

“Used to what?”

“Asking for what I want.”

“Well, keep hanging around me and all that’s going to change. It takes practice, vocalizing it. Letting someone else in on the darkest corners of your mind.”

“Yeah, I can tell. I haven’t had the best experiences when it comes to telling people that I’m into this kind of thing. So, I just… locked it away, tried not to think about it. But what we did the other night? It’s just… I feel like it brought out this other side of me.”

“In a good way?”

“A really good way, yeah. It made me feel like…me. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I do.”

You sit down beside me on the edge of the bed. You slide your hand up my thigh and let it come to rest on my knee. It’s a gentle movement, a gesture of care and affection that… honestly surprises me a little.

You’re just an inch or two away from my face. Close enough that I catch a hint of sandalwood on your neck.

I can’t count how many times I’ve relived that first night in my head. How many times the memory of the cuffs tightening around my wrists has popped into my head at work… while I’m cooking dinner… on the subway…

I’ve been on this… high… ever since.

I can’t explain it. I feel… exhilarated? Maybe even liberated…

“You know… you look really good tonight.”

“Thank you.”

“Tell me, in detail, what you want.”

“I love how much you teased me last time. You touched me in… so many ways before we fucked… I want to feel that again. And… I guess I want you to be… more dominant? I don’t really know how to explain it.”

“You want to be put in a submissive headspace.”

“Yeah, exactly. Like, the more dominant you are, the most submissive I’ll feel. But I want to reach that just through… like, words… instead of toys. Does that make sense?”

“It does. I seem to remember you getting quite a bit of pleasure from begging.”

“Yeah.”

“Is that what you want? To beg for me again?”

“Yeah…”

“So… beg.”

Your lips are soft against mine and you wind your hand around the back of my head. You pull me deeper into the kiss, swirling your tongue around my mouth.

You dig your fingers into my hips and roll me on top of you as you lie on your back.

Fuck, I wasn’t expecting you to be beneath me tonight, but… I kind of like the feeling. The way you’re still controlling everything I do, even from on your back… the way your fingers thread into my hair and guide my mouth where you want it to be.

I can feel you starting to get hard inside your jeans. I want to reach for it, want to undo your pants and take it out, but I don’t have permission. And damn that’s a good feeling.

“Do you remember your safe words?”

“Yeah. Red.”

“Good. Stay there.”

You shift from underneath me and slide off the bed, leaving me on all fours.

“Mm, you look good like that.”

“Are you ready to give yourself to me?”

“Yes…”

“Good.”

You hover on my left, but I don’t lift my head to see what you’re doing. I only realize you’re restraining me when I hear the sound of velcro being pulled apart.

You wrap the cuffs from the under-the-bed restraints around my wrists.

You stand over me, watching, taking in the sight of me.

You press your lips against my ear and I feel the tickle of your breath rolling down my neck. Your fingers trace up my arm, graze over my breasts, and gently press against my throat. Not choking me, but giving me a firm reminder that you’re in control.

“Who do you belong to?”

“I belong to you.”

“Very good. And… why should I make you feel good?”

“Be-because I… I need it—”

“Oh, you need it, do you? That’s not a very convincing reason.”

You draw my underwear down my thighs and pull it over my ankles. I already feel so exposed and this just takes that feeling to the next level.

I feel your eyes wandering over my body like you’re debating where to touch me next.

You graze two fingers between my legs, circling around my pussy, just barely parting my folds.

You flatten your palm against my ass and squeeze.

These moments of stillness are so hard to bear. You’re not speaking… not doing anything but letting me stew in my helplessness… forcing me to sink deeper into it… to fully submit to you…

“Are you mine?”

“Yeah… yes, I’m… I’m yours…”

“Are you ready for me?”

“Yeah, please…”

“Mm, be patient…”

“What do you say?”

“Thank you… thank you.”

“You’re very polite. But do you think that I’ll give you what I want just because you ask nicely? Because that’s not how this works.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and push my forehead into the pillow beneath me. My head’s swimming. Every nerve in my body feels tight and overloaded, like just one touch from you will completely undo me.

“I’ll give you what I think you need. When I think you need it.”

“I… want more…”

“Patience.”

I curl and flex my fingers against the sheets.

Something… soft… slides up the back of my thighs. It strokes over my folds.

And then… taps against my clit.

You land a firm swat on my ass with the crop. It stings more than your hand, but it’s… oh my god, it’s so good… the waves of pleasure that come after…

“Fuck…”

“Is this getting you wet?”

“Yes… oh, fuck, yeah…”

“Good. You’ve been very patient so far.”

I lift my head up just in time to watch you toss the crop to the carpet, and slide your boxers down your legs. Your cock springs free and you wrap your hand gently around your shaft.

God, you look so hard… and I want you so, so badly…

“I don’t think you realise just how hard it is… to not just fuck you senseless.”

You kiss up the back of my thighs, just missing between my legs.

“It’s taking an extreme amount of control from me. I’m having to… hold myself back.”

My hips flex involuntarily and I feel my pussy clench. God, I want your mouth on me. I want you in me.

Your hands are trembling a little around my hips. Like you’re struggling to keep it together, too.

You get up on the bed and situate yourself behind me.

You run the tip of your cock through my folds, right over my clit…

You press it right at my entrance, just holding it there.

“Is this what you want? You want me to take you?”

“Yes… please…”

You press the tip a little harder against me… inching further in…

“Please, please, I need your cock… I need you inside. I—I need you to fuck me so bad…”

You push in the tip…

I try to rock back, to take all of you inside me, but you hold my hips tight in your hands.

“Not yet. Remember, be patient.”

You move in steady, shallow thrusts. Just the tip sliding in and out, and no more.

I grab the sheets in fistfuls. I need you to fuck me.

“Oohh, please…”

“Please?”

“Inside… me…”

“You want my cock inside you? Is that what you want?”

“Fuck me, please. Make me yours…”

“Say it again.”

“Make me yours…”

“Hold on just a little longer and I’ll give you what you need…”

“Please… oh my god… please…”

“If you want all of me, tell me: who do you belong to?”

“Tell me, who does this gorgeous body belong to?”

“My body belongs to you…”

“That’s right. It’s all mine.”

“Ah, fuck.”

“Fuck…”

“Oh, good girl. Fucking—yes, good girl—”

Your hips suddenly stop driving into me.

You pull the cuffs off my wrists and guide me up to my knees. Your chest presses hard against my back as you place your strong hand just below my jaw.

Your free fingers trace down my stomach. Between my legs, and down to my clit.

“Oh my god, yes…”

You massage my clit in small circles. I clutch at your tight forearms, digging my nails into your skin.

I can’t form coherent thoughts… all I know is this feeling of giving in to you, pleasing you, wanting to be nothing but yours.

Fuck, my whole body is throbbing.

“I’m so close… I’m going to cum! Fuck!”

“Remember to ask…”

“Can I cum, please? Please, I need to cum!”

“Mmm. Yes you can. Let it go…”

“Yeah, let it go… oh fuck, just like that. Fuck, that’s it. I’m going to cum!”

There’s this feeling of… nothingness inside me. Like… pure white… no discomfort, no worry, just… peace. It feels… unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.

I barely even notice you guiding me down to the bed. It feels so easy and natural to just lie here with you, my head on your chest, your arms around my waist.

I gaze up at you and trace my fingers over your smooth jaw.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

You pull your gigantic duvet over us. I can feel your chest rising and falling under my cheek as you try to catch your breath.

“How are you feeling?”

“I… I don’t think I’ve ever cum so hard in my life.”

“Well, that’s a good sign.”

“I… just… the way you held my throat? We need to do that again.”

“God, yeah, that was… you wore me out.”

“Now I’m mad you’re going to be gone for two weeks. What the hell am I supposed to do until then?”

“Ah, you’ll be alright.”

I’m not intending on having a sleepover, especially since you and I are just… I don’t know… whatever we are. But damn, it feels so good in your bed. Maybe you won’t mind if I just shut my eyes for a few minutes…