Cowboy Affairs: Saddled

I can still see some tiny specks of hay in her hair. It’s been twenty minutes, and the image of her in that barn stall with Owen is burned into the back of my eyelids.

He’s twenty years younger than me, a reckless rodeo punk, and I shouldn’t give a damn who she decides to throw herself at. But as I pull the leather strap tight on my mare’s saddle, my knuckles turn white.

I’m furious. And the worst part is… somehow I’m jealous, too. I’m not even sure when I started noticing her like this, much less caring who she was noticing.

I’ve spent years keeping people out of my space, content in this kind of isolation. And then this California city girl rolls into this valley with a fire that refuses to be put out, and suddenly my quiet, peaceful world feels upended… watching her over these last few weeks has forced me to think differently about city girls.

There hasn’t been a single challenge she’s backed down from, and damn if I haven’t taken a shine to the woman.

“Hey, Jensen.

We need to talk about what you saw.”

“Unless you’re here to tell me you figured out how to use a pitchfork without turning it into a mating ritual, I don’t want to hear it. The ranch doesn’t stop running because some city girl wants to dissect her love life. I’ve got a horse to saddle and some fences to repair.”

“Oh, wonderful. We’re going with the defensive, brooding hermit energy today?

Very sophisticated.”

“Look, it wasn’t a big deal, and I’m not apologizing for it. This was… a natural thing, okay? But you watching us and then stomping around the ranch throwing silent tantrums and scolding everyone is probably the more problematic behavior here.”

“I don’t have time for that bullshit.”

“If you’re too busy to sit and listen, then let me help, ‘cause I’m not done talking yet.

Where are you heading?”

I can see her standing up straighter and jutting out her chin as she crosses her arms over her chest like a defiant child and nods toward my Quarter Horse mare.

“I’m riding out to the high mountain meadows. A few yards of fences on the west ridge are down, and they need repairing before the cattle notice that too.”

“Good, I’m coming with you. Consider it my next lesson. I wanted to learn how to fix fences anyway.”

“You? On the west ridge trail? Daisy, you’ll be crying for your heated blanket before we even hit the timberline. That's brutal terrain, and it’s grueling, miserable work. You and your complaints are staying right here.”

“The only thing I’m complaining about is your attitude, Jensen. I can handle a mountain trail. You’ll see.”

She just digs her heels right in. Most people back away when I use this tone, but she just stares me down like she’s completely immune to my bullshit. It drives me crazy how much I want to break that stubborn pride of hers.

“Listen, Mae. The west ridge is on the complete opposite side of the property. It’s probably too far to make it back by nightfall. And if we have to camp in the middle of nowhere without running water, electricity, and in coyote territory, I don’t want to hear a single complaint. Not even a grumble. You sure you want to risk that?”

Two hours later, I had to force myself not to turn around and take her back to the ranch. But I haven’t given her an inch. I’ve kept my eyes locked straight ahead, pretending the only thing on my mind is the broken fenceline. But the truth is, every time her horse falls a few paces behind, I can hear the shift in her saddle.

I can picture exactly how she looks back there … okay, maybe I took a look here and there…

Her hair catching the mountain wind, her cheeks flushed from the climb and her hips in these low jeans rocking back and forth in the saddle.

A saddle that I made…

It’s driving me insane. I’m trying to nurse my anger, trying to stay detached, but somehow she just won’t let me lock that door.

“Get a move on, Daisy! At the pace you’re moving, the winter snows are gonna hit before we even reach the first fence line!”

“Yeah, I’m coming! Some of us didn’t spend our entire lives glued to the saddle.”

I’m being an absolute bastard to her, and I know it. Every time I look back and see her hips moving with the rhythm of that saddle, my blood boils. I keep picturing those same hips moving over Owen in the straw, and it makes me want to rip something apart. I’m taking my frustration out on her trail speed, but she just takes every sharp word I throw her way, laughs it off, and fires a witty comeback right back at me. She has this sunny, unyielding outlook on things, and it’s infuriating how much I need to remind myself not to enjoy this.

“Jensen, wait.”

VO2s horse gets faster and comes nearer again

“Unless you’re trying to leave me to the wolves, we still need to finish that conversation about… Owen.”

“There’s no conversation to have, Daisy. I told you, I don’t give a damn. You’re a grown woman, you can roll around in the straw with whoever you please. It’s none of my business what you get up to with anyone… much less what you get up to with boys who pretend to be men like Owen. So, no, Daisy, I don’t care, and it certainly isn’t interesting to me. Now drop it.”

“If it wasn’t interesting to you, why did you keep watching?”

“Move your horse Daisy Mae, we’re losing daylight.”

We follow along the trail over another high ridge, just past the tree line, until the dense pine trees gradually give way. A warm, soft wind is caressing the high willow grass, creating wave-like patterns in it.

VO2s horse gets slower and stops

“Oh… my god, Jensen. Look at this.”

I stop my horse and look back at her. We’ve just hit the crest of the high meadow. The entire valley opens up below us, a massive, endless sea of wide grassland and dark green pines, framed by the jagged, snow-capped peaks of the Bighorn Mountains piercing a brilliant blue sky. It’s a view I’ve seen a thousand times, but watching it reflect in her eyes, almost as if it’s reaching her soul, feels like seeing it for the first time again.

“This is… beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like this.”

I let my gaze wander over the peaks in the distance, before my eyes find her again. Her face is glowing under the high mountain sun, and loose strands of hair from her loosely braided ponytail flutter in the wind around her freckled nose. For a fraction of a second, the jealousy and the attempt not to like her inside me just … evaporate.

My chest tightens, not with impatience, but with something so raw it scares the hell out of me. She looks beautiful. Like she belongs up here. Like she belongs right next to me…

But I can’t think like that.

“Yeah. It, uh… it has its moments.”

“Alright, enough sightseeing.”

“Let’s get a move on before we start growing roots here. I want to see if you can really work the way you say you can.”

“Okay, while you set up the first tent, can I start with the second one?”

“The second one?”

“Wait a minute… is that the only tent you brought?”

She stands before me in the twilight, looking on in disbelief, and points to the canvas tent I’m in the process of setting up.

“Yes, it is. With all the fencing tools, there’s only one tent that fits properly on the pack saddle. Space is premium up here, Daisy.”

“Uhm…”

But… you knew I was coming, I told you…

What exactly was your plan here? Hoping the big scary terrain would force me to cozy up next to you?”

I freeze. A sharp jolt of heat hits my chest. Cozy up?

God dammit, if she only knew what the thought of being trapped in a small space with her is doing to my sanity…

“Don’t flatter yourself, city girl. I have absolutely no intention of sharing a tent with you. I like my peace and quiet too much.”

Sound Design note: First 2 questions from VO2 are asked independently, but the rest continue on almost in the background during VO1 monologue

“Oh, so what? I’m supposed to just sleep on the dirt because you don’t know how to pack for two? Or maybe you didn’t think I’d hack it-

that I’d get lost along the way or turn back? Maybe you didn’t think we’d make it at all, or you expected I’d just give you anything you wanted if you dragged me all the way out here? Am I supposed to think you didn’t think of any of this? Or what, Jensen? Which is it?”

Look at her. Standing her ground in the middle of the wilderness, completely unfazed by my biting tone. There’s a stubbornness in her that drives me mad, but there’s something else there, too…

A quiet warmth that makes this mountain feel a whole lot less empty than it did all the times I went up here alone. As the firelight catches the gold in her hair, I turn away before I let myself stare too long.

“Will you stop your bickering for five seconds?”

“The tent is yours, okay? You take it. I’m sleeping out here by the fire. My mama raised a gentleman, no matter how much of a bastard you think I am. Now go and throw your gear inside before I change my mind.”

“Oh…

Well… thank your mama for me then.”

I walk over to the fire I started earlier and toss another log into the flames before flopping down on my old blanket on the hard-packed ground.

It’s gotten chilly tonight.

“Can I sit here?”

“Sure.”

“You know… for someone who acts like he hates the world, you take incredibly good care of this place. And your manners aren’t completely terrible.”

“Well, this is home for me… for most of us here at Oak Creek, and we take care of our own.”

“You’ve been here a long time, then. And Owen? Things seem… tense… between you two. What’s the story there? ”

“I came to Oak Creek as a seasonal worker way back when and just… never left. And Owen…

He’s a good kid, very talented, just reckless. His old man walked out when he was a boy, and when his mom died young, he became an orphan, then a troublemaker. I found him trying to steal a saddle I made at the farmers' market out of desperation. And instead of calling the sheriff, I put a tool in his hand and told him if he wanted something, he’d have to sweat for it.”

“I became his mentor when the big boss decided he’d stay in the bunkhouse with us.

I’ve spent my whole life in this dirt, Daisy. It’s a lonely life, but it’s honest.”

I can feel her gaze on me, and as I return the look, I can see the flickering of the flames reflected in the light on her face as her mouth curves into a gentle smile.

“It doesn't sound lonely to me… and it sounds like you have a beautiful, deep soul, Jensen.

Even if you hide it behind a grumpy face.”

I keep my eyes glued to dancing flames in her eyes, my chest suddenly tight. Not many people look past the calluses and the bad temper to see if there’s anything else underneath. It’s been a very long time since anyone bothered to really see me. Hearing it come from her, soft and completely honest, cracks a piece of the armor I’ve spent a decade building.

And the scariest part is… I don't think I want to fix it.

“Hmm, okay, Daisy Mae, maybe it’s time for bed before we get all mushy and sentimental out here, hm?”

“You’re so predictable.

But fine, bet you’re waking me up before the sun does tomorrow.”

It takes me a second to get my bearings as I wake with a start to a full-blown mountain thunderstorm.

I’m soaked through and freezing, as rain pours down on me.

It’s still dark outside, middle of the night… The storm must have come in quickly, and my sleeping bag didn’t do much to protect me. All my clothes and hair are completely soaked.

“Shit!”

As I hurriedly gather up my soaking-wet gear, I hear the tent zipper opening behind me.

“Jensen, you okay?”

“Goddamit, the weather report was wrong.”

“Come in here, get out of the meadow… even I know how fast things change when it rains like this.”

She’s right. One wrong step on these high meadows in weather like this is all it takes for things to go wrong. Luckily, we’re camping right at the tree line, and the tent is set back a bit, hidden among the cover of dense pine trees.

“Make some room, I need to put my wet stuff down somewhere.”

“Holy shit…”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Just … wet.”

Soaking wet, in just my t-shirt and boxers, I’m hunched over in the small tent. Daisy has moved all the way to one side to make some room for me, snuggled up in a thick blanket. Apparently, she’s cold, too.

“You need to get out of your wet clothes. You’re going to catch a cold.”

“Seriously, Jensen. It’s freezing, and you’re already shivering. I’ll … look away while you change.”

“I didn’t pack a set of spare clothes, Daisy. I thought we’d be home by tomorrow morning. I don’t have anything to change into.”

“Oh…

Well, I don’t mind. You’re not staying in these freezing clothes!”

Even though I hate to admit it, she’s right. If I don’t want to spend the whole night shivering on the tent floor, I have to get out of my wet clothes. So I take a deep, frustrated breath, grab the hem of my T-shirt, which is clinging to me like a second skin, and pull it over my head.

Without turning to face her, I can feel her gaze on my back.

Gotcha, liar.

“Thought you’d turn around.”

“Oh! ...Sorry.”

“Doesn’t bother me.”

I slip out of my boxers and reach for my sleeping bag to lie down next to Daisy, when I realize that it, too, is completely soaked.

“Ah, for fucks sake…”

“What?”

“Everything’s soaked through. Sleeping bag, blankets, everything.”

Compassionately, she turns back to me, blinking cautiously, as if she wants to check whether I’m really naked. I’m still holding my sleeping bag in my hands, so she can’t see anything, and her gaze darts up to my eyes. She bites her lower lip briefly, and I can practically see the gears turning in her head until, after a few seconds, she lifts her blanket and unzips her sleeping bag without saying a word.

She’s sitting there, sheepishly looking up to me with just a loose tank top and panties on. Her nipples are peaking through the fabric as goosebumps run down her skin.

For a moment, I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

What other choice do I have?

“Move over, let me sleep on the tent wall so you won't be so cold.”

The moment my bare skin brushes hers, my whole body tenses. She is pure, radiant heat. Her scent, which has spread throughout this suffocatingly small tent, is even more intense here.

And in this new position, my back is pinned against her shoulder, the back of my thighs pressing hard against hers. I try to lock my gaze onto the tent wall, trying to focus on the rhythm of the rain, but my pulse is hammering in my ears.

“Better?”

“Yeah.”

“I… like your belt.”

Confused, I turn just my upper half toward her. I can see her lying on her side, her hand stretched out toward the waistband of my wet jeans on the floor.

“Thanks. Made it myself. From the stitches to the ornaments.”

“Wow, that's impressive! Owen told me about your skills but… this is amazing.”

Hearing her mention his name right now cuts straight through the peace like a blade. The image of her and Owen tangled in the barn straw from yesterday flashes behind my eyes, bitter and sharp. But also… hot.

I turn my body toward her, a slow, deliberate movement that shifts the heavy woolen blanket, completely ignoring the fact that I’m naked.

I look down at her, watching her breath catch as my chest hits her shoulder. The stark contrast between us is almost ridiculous… My rough, sun-worn skin against her soft frame. But my mind is stuck on his name on her lips.

“You like talking about Owen, don’t you? Even if you’re sleeping in my tent, holding my work in your hands.”

“I was just repeating what he said... He respects you, Jensen. You don't have to get defensive.”

“I don’t get defensive. But let’s get one thing straight, little girl. I saw what happened in the barn yesterday. And I’m nobody’s second choice. I don’t take leftovers from a boy. So stop digging in my life.”

“I’ve seen you watching me when you think I’m not looking, Jensen. And you probably would have been my first choice…

I don’t think you’d hate that as much as you like to pretend.”

My chest is heaving as I look down at her. The storm outside is raging, thunder vibrating right through the dirt next to us, but all I can hear is the frantic rhythm of her heartbeat. I can feel the heat radiating off her body, calling to mine. I look at her freckled nose, her flushed cheeks, and the absolute hunger hidden beneath her nervous gaze.

And that’s when it hits me… She wants me.

It’s been years since I’ve been with a woman like this. Years since I’ve allowed myself to feel this consuming hunger. The isolation I’ve cultivated suddenly feels like a prison, and she’s the one tearing it down.

“You shouldn't have said that, Daisy.”

I reach out, my large, calloused hand moving slow. I cup her jaw, my fingers resting firm against her pulse, which I can feel hammering. I don't squeeze, but I don't give her an inch to turn away. I hold her gaze until I lean in and press my lips on hers.

Just like me, this kiss is not gentle. I part her lips with my tongue, tasting her fully, claiming her. And she doesn't hesitate… her arms wrapping tight around my neck, her fingers tangling in my wet hair. I press my body against hers, and I can already feel my cock getting harder against her thigh.

She can clearly feel the evidence of my desire, and she grinds her hips up against me in response, a soft, desperate sound breaking from her throat against my lips.

“Ohhh…”

I pull my lips from hers, moving them along her jaw, down to her neck. Her nipples are pressing against the thin fabric of her top, and even thinking about touching them, sucking them, makes my breathing get ragged.

“I’m going to take my time with you… A little reminder of who exactly you’re here with.”

My calloused hand slides under her tank top, my palm rough against her soft skin. I slightly brush my fingers over one of her nipples, drawing a longing whimper from her.

Slowly, I reach for the hem of her top and pull it over her head, just as a flash of lightning illuminates the sky. The bright light pierces through the thin tent walls, and the sight of her in front of me is nothing short of heavenly.

She’s breathtaking.

Her legs part willingly for me, as I prop myself up and slide on top of her, my knees between her legs.

I cup her perfect tits in my big hands, gently pinching her nipples. Her hips jerk, searching for friction against me.

“Oh God… Jensen…”

I move further down her body, away from her beautiful breasts, leaving a trail of kisses along the soft skin of her stomach, her hips, and the hem of her panties.

Holy hell… I can feel the heat radiating from between her legs.

And when I finally place a light, almost tender kiss on the spot on her panties where she needs my touch the most, she moans desperately.

“Fuck, I want to taste you so fucking bad.”

“Yes, please…”

And I don't hold back. With a quick tug, I yank her panties down over her hips and off her beautiful legs. I lean down again, and she willingly opens her thighs a little wider for me, as I hungrily hover over her bare, glistening pussy.

“How badly do you want this?”

“I want it sooo bad. Jensen, please…”

Cunnilingus Start

I press my lips against her center, my tongue sweeping long and flat over her slick pussy while her delicate fingers dig into my damp hair. God, she tastes incredible. Hooking my hands under her thighs, I lift her slightly to anchor her against my face as I flick over her clit, sucking and licking it with a steady, demanding rhythm.

“Oh God, yes, right there!”

I tease her with my tongue, circling her swollen clit before…

sliding two fingers into her agonizingly slowly.

Fingering Start, Cunnilingus continues

“Aaaah, fuck!”

She’s soaking wet, clenching around my finger instantly as her hips buck off the blanket, trying to move against my thrusting fingers to feel them even deeper. The desperate, needy sounds she’s making in this small tent that is our shelter are driving me insane.

I want to feel her warmth around me, I need to be inside her. My dick is already throbbing in anticipation when I pull my mouth back, trailing a line of kisses up her stomach as I look up at her heavy-lidded eyes, watching every move of mine.

Fingering & Cunnilingus Stop

“Are you ready for me? Tell me you need me inside you.”

“I do. I want you so bad. Please fuck me.”

And who am I to keep her waiting?

I shift my weight back between her open thighs, grabbing my thick, throbbing cock and stroking it two or three times before positioning it at her wet opening and teasing her with the tip.

“Jensen…”

I grip her hips with both hands, anchoring her with my calloused fingers as I drive forward in one deep thrust and… bury myself inside her entirely.

Penetration Start

“God, you’re so big.”

God, she clenches around me like a vice, and I have to take it slow, closing my eyes and gritting my teeth as my entire body is fighting the urge to cum immediately. She wraps her legs around my hips, pulling me even deeper inside of her.

“Yes… don’t stop. You feel so good in me.”

“I’m not stopping, baby. You’re taking me so well.”

I start to thrust deeper, faster. With each thrust, I draw back, pulling nearly all the way out until just the tip is teasing her, before slamming back inside with a deliberate, desperate force. I've gone without it for so long, so my pace is almost relentless now, making sure she feels every single inch.

“Ohh fuck…”

She moves so desperately with me, rocking her hips against mine with every thrust. I can see her tits bouncing in the dim, flashing light of the storm outside, completely consumed by the sigh of her taking all of me, driving me close to the fucking edge.

“Ohhh, it’s too much! I’m gonna-”

“Yes, baby, let it go for me. Show me how much you like my cock and come for me.”

“Yes, Jensen… Yes, yes!”

Hearing her scream my name is what finally breaks my control. I thrust into her a few more times while her walls are getting tighter around me, before I reach the cliff with the power of a lightning strike.

I collapse onto my forearms, my chest heaving against hers as we both try to catch our breath. I stay inside her, listening to the rain furiously drumming against the canvas above us. The storm outside feels a million miles away as I feel her hands around my neck, and she pulls me into another, deep kiss.

“At least we're not freezing anymore.”

The ride back down the mountain trail is entirely different from the bitter mood I was in when we started our trip yesterday. The heavy, almost suffocating weight on my chest is gone, replaced by a strange, unfamiliar ease. And although it is always quiet out here, today, the wilderness feels almost peaceful.

I find myself slowing my mare down just to watch Daisy ride ahead of me.

Holy hell, these hips…

She’s looking back over her shoulder, her laughter ringing across the meadow as we argue about how terrible my camp coffee tasted this morning.

“Don’t worry, you have other qualities.”

Somehow, this city girl has woven her way completely under my skin, and for the first time in ten years, I don't find myself wanting to fight it.

The ride back to the ranch takes over three hours, and yet it feels too short to me.

Especially, when the first goddamn thing I see is Owen, casually leaning against one of the wooden stall posts, a playful smirk on his face, arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Well, look at that. The sky must be falling. Jensen is actually smiling. Didn’t know your face could move that way, old man.”

I can feel my muscles tensing up immediately.

“Shut up, Owen….”

“What are you standing around here anyway? Don’t you have work to do? Go check the water troughs or so.”

“Aaaah, there he is.”

“Hey there, Mae. Let me help you down.”

“Oh, thank you!”

Watching Owen grab Daisy by the waist to gently set her down as she dismounts makes me clench my teeth. Not because he’s touching her, I’m used to that from him, but because, despite what happened last night, she has that sparkle in her eyes when she looks at him. That same aroused, cheek-blushing sparkle that she gave me last night.

“Wow, you look amazing today. Guess the wild nature up there did you some good. Must have been a very… interesting night up on that mountain.”

“Thanks, Owen, it was… interesting for sure.”

“Oh, I bet.”

Such a pain in the ass…

“But… if you ever get tired of the grumpy old man's behavior, you know where to find me.”

“My barn’s always open for you.”

He’s got to be kidding me.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

To see her playing along with his flirty banter makes jealousy spike in my chest. Although I can’t forget what happened between us last night, I also can’t forget her moving on Owen’s lap in that barn… and the sounds she made… with him AND with me.

Still, she needs to fucking remember whose touch matters in this valley and which man’s side she belongs at…

“Go mind your own business, Owen. And unsaddle the horses and feed them. Daisy and I still have some things to do.”

“Some things, hm? Sure.”

“Follow me.”

“Where to?”

“Workshop, now. Come on.”

“Oh, sure. See you, Owen!”

“See ya.”

Daisy follows me to the workshop, clearly confused but still in good spirits. Once we're out of earshot, she asks:

“What are we doing? You wanna show me something, Jensen?”

“Yeah, you could say that…”

Oh, I'm going to show you something, Daisy. I'm going to show you exactly which one of us that naughty little pussy really wants...