Surrender

This episode contains verbal degradation between two consenting adults. Please listen at your own discretion.

What am I doing here?

This is crazy. This is so crazy.

I’m going to go up to this hotel room… and I’m going to hook up with a man I’ve never met before and probably will never see again.

A very hot, kinky man who gets paid to make people feel good.

My heart is racing. Why do I feel like I’m about to go bungee jumping or something?

Okay. I’ve got this.

Yeah, I’ve totally got this. This is going to be good. Good for me.

I’m finally going to explore all of the things I’ve secretly been wondering about for years. No more worries, no more hiding. Just pure, shameless exploration.

I mean, what have I got to lose, really? I’m a divorced, exhausted millennial working a minimum wage job during a financial crisis, who honestly can’t remember the last time she laughed out loud.

Oh god, can that be right? I don’t even remember what my own laugh sounds like.

Yeah, I definitely need this. I’m doing this.

Okay, here we go…

“Hey. You made it.”

“Hi.”

“C’mon in.”

I just realized I’ve been to this hotel before. The room looks really familiar.

Was it… New Years? Or maybe Valentine’s Day with—

No. Stop. Don’t think about your ex-husband right now.

“Take a seat.”

You show me to a brown leather sofa near the window overlooking the canal. I’ve hardly just sat down and you’re handing me an empty wine glass.

“Would you like some wine?”

“Sure, yeah.”

“Red or white?”

“Red, please.”

You’re taking your time opening the bottle. Maybe you can tell I’m nervous. Maybe you’re trying to give me a few moments to just… breathe.

You give me a soft encouraging smile as you tip the bottle towards me. The red liquid splashes around in my glass and the smell of strong wine fills the air around us.

“Thanks. This is, um… a nice room.”

“Yeah, I like this place. I do most of my calls here.”

“Sorry, I’m a little nervous. Or, actually, maybe really nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Don’t worry, that’s totally normal. Let’s just sit and chat for a few minutes. I’d love to get to know you a little.”

“Yeah, right. Okay.”

“I can go first, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, that’d be… please.”

“Well, my name is Theo, of course, you already know that. And I’ve been offering my services for about… five years now. But I’ve been involved in the BDSM lifestyle for over 15 years.”

“Nice. But… that doesn’t actually tell me anything about you.”

“Fair. You’re right. My absolute favorite movie is Sleepless in Seattle, and I’ll stand by that till the day I die.”

Your whole demeanor is so relaxed. It’s easy to feel comfortable around you. And your smile is contagious.

You’re not at all what I was expecting.

“What else, what else? I’m a Taurus, I love to cook. Oh, and I have a German Sheppard named Axle. He’s pretty much my best friend.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet. I have a little pug named Lola.”

“So you’ll be a little forgiving then if you see stray dog hair on my clothes?”

“Yeah, I will.”

“Okay, your turn. Tell me a bit more about you. Like, what do you do for work?”

“Well, I’m a receptionist at a hotel, but I have a crafty little side hustle—painting—so I make greeting cards and little signs and things like that.”

“That’s great. What are you doing when you’re not working?”

“Oh, not much. Jogging. I took one of those pole dancing classes last month. I’m kind of on this ‘trying new things’ kick. You know, like I mentioned in our messages on the app, I’m just—”

“Looking for something exciting?”

You lean forward and brush a strand of hair out of my face. I suddenly can’t think of anything else to say.

“Um, yeah. Exactly.”

“Which is what led you here, to me, right?”

You reposition yourself on the couch and place your hand on my knee. A wave of heat flushes through me. My skin is tingling under your hand.

I can’t remember the last time I felt this way. Light and airy… excited and… honestly turned on.

You touching me like this… it feels good. Not invasive or… entitled or something… which is surprising since we just met. Your touch is… reassuring more than anything else.

“Tell me more. About why you’re here.”

“I… I’m really not sure why. I’m so new to… this. I mean, I’ve never even had a one-night stand. I married my high school sweetheart and that just went up in flames a few years ago when I caught him cheating on me and—”

“Hey. It’s okay.”

You give my knee a gentle squeeze and take my chin in your hand. You guide my face towards yours. I feel breathless all of a sudden like you’re drawing the air out of me.

God, your eyes are so blue. And you’ve got specks of grey in the stubble that lines your jaw.

You’re beyond hot. And I’m sitting here rambling about my dog and my ex.

“It’s okay to be nervous. And it’s okay to try new things. Would you like for me to take control tonight?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. That’s what I’m going to do. First thing we’re going to do is run through some rules.”

You take my empty wine glass from my hand and set it on the table.

You stand up from the couch and hover over me, your hands joined together in front of you. You look so… intense. But inviting.

“Rule number one: you will do as I say. You will speak only when spoken to, and obey my instructions. Nod if you agree.”

I nod my head, straightening up a little on the couch.

“Rule number two: you will use the safeword if things are too intense or if you’d like to stop. This will immediately trigger a check-in. The safe word for tonight will be… daisy.”

Your body relaxes as you reach down and start unbuttoning the cuffs of your shirt. You roll up your sleeves slowly, eyes never leaving mine. A shiver rolls down my spine, all the way to my toes.

“Rule number three: you will refer to me as Sir throughout our session, starting now.”

“Yes, Sir.”

My thighs clench together on the sofa as you remove your tie. This feels… unreal.

“Good girl. Now, before we get started… is there anything you want to tell me? Any words you’d like me to use or not use? Any specific things you’d like to try tonight?”

“Um, well I— I don’t really know much about names or anything. Maybe you could just try one and see how I like it? No limits come to mind for that. And for things to try, I really just want to be… mindless. You know what I mean? I want to just… exist. And have fun.”

“Yes. I know exactly what you need.”

You offer me your hand and help me up. You’re silent as you guide me to the large mirror hanging opposite the bed.

You stand behind me, tucking my hair behind my shoulder as we both gaze at our reflections.

All I can think about is how badly I need to touch up my roots and how my mascara is a little smudged.

You kiss the base of my neck, but it’s like you’re barely touching me. I can see your eyes in the mirror watching us both as your lips move from my neck to my cheek.

It feels so good to have someone’s lips on me again. Your hands curl around my body and you cup my tits in your hands, squeezing them firmly through my dress.

“I want you… to stand here in front of this mirror… and take off your clothes for me.”

You step away from me and move back to the edge of the bed. I immediately miss the heat of your body pressed up against me.

The panic must be visible on my face because you give me a reassuring nod in the reflection of the mirror.

“Right now. Undress for me.”

“Yes, Sir.”

I fumble with the zipper along the side of my dress. I haven’t looked at my own body in a full-length mirror in… I don’t even know how long.

I close my eyes and let the dress fall to the floor.

I open my eyes again, meeting yours through the reflection. You’re sitting behind me on the bed now, with your legs slightly parted.

“You’re doing great. Keep going.”

I can feel goosebumps traveling across my body as I move my fingers to unhook my bra. I slowly slide the straps down one at a time, keeping my eyes focused on you.

I let my bra fall to the floor, my tits dropping from their weight. Oh god, this is terrifying. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone paying this close attention to me while I undress.

I feel exposed and vulnerable. But looking back at you and seeing the smile on your face through the mirror… it’s clear that you’re enjoying this. Which makes me feel good.

I keep my eyes closed as I slip my thumbs into the waistband of my panties. I let them fall to the ground and quickly kick them away.

I open my eyes and take in the sight of my body for the first time in a long time. Wrinkles, cellulite, and the weight I’ve gained due to stress over the last few years stare back at me.

I shift my focus to meet your eyes in the mirror. You give me another reassuring nod as you lift yourself off the bed and slowly make your way back over to me.

“Good girl. How was that?”

“Hard.”

“Hmm. Why was that hard for you?”

“I don’t know, it just is. I don’t really look at myself very often like this.”

“Well. Let me tell you what I see, shall I?”

Your fingertips trail along my shoulders and your eyes seem hungry as they explore every inch of my exposed figure.

“I see a strong woman. Who has survived a lot. A woman who is taking control of her life.”

You cup my bare breasts and you knead them softly in your hands.

“I see incredible fucking tits. Beautiful nipples that I can’t wait to have in my mouth… I see your soft skin, your lovely legs, gorgeous eyes. A very tempting mouth…”

You kiss my neck and then whisper into my ear.

“I see a beautiful woman I can’t wait to enjoy.”

Your hands travel down my body, grasping and squeezing various parts of me. My tits, my hips, my stomach. I don’t flinch, I don’t move away. I just let you touch me, and I close my eyes.

This feels so good. And so surprising. Having so much attention on my body is new, but… I’m getting used to it.

My heart is racing and all I can think about is the bulge I can feel pressing into my back as you push against me.

Your hands graze across the stubble on my pussy. Then, your fingers gently spread me apart.

You squeeze one of my nipples as your fingers glide even deeper. You find my clit and start to rub in gentle circles. My knees buckle a little.

“What do you want? Tell me…”

I can’t think, all I can do is stare at your fingers in the mirror, working my clit over and over again, spreading me apart, teasing me…

“I said… tell me what you want. Use your words.”

“This, keep doing this. More… please.”

You press your lips against my shoulder as you circle my clit faster and a little harder.

Your other hand is still kneading my breast and I’m so distracted by watching your fingers that it surprises me when you sink your teeth gently into the side of my neck.

I reach back and stroke your cock through your pants. I can’t help it. You already feel so thick and hard, all I can think about is more. I need more.

“Mmm, you like that, don’t you? Tell me how you feel.”

“Good, it feels so good.”

“God, you’re so sexy. I love feeling your tits in my hands, I love how you’re arching yourself back into me. You feel what you’re doing to me? How hard you’re making me?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Do you want me?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Sir. I want you. I want to feel you inside me.”

I don’t know what’s come over me, but I can’t stop myself. I grip your cock hard through your pants, rubbing you as much as I can from this position.

“Mm, look who’s come out of her shell a bit. That’s my good girl.”

You turn me around to face you. You walk me back a few steps and push my body up against the mirror.

The cool glass sends a shock up my back. I lean into you as your hand moves between my legs again and part them instantly to give you easier access.

Your fingers inch down towards my entrance, teasing me softly and slowly. I haven’t been touched like this in so long, I need more.

“How about I work this needy little pussy a little more before we get to that?”

“Yes, please Sir, I—”

You thrust two of your fingers deep inside me without warning and, oh god, it feels good. I can feel the wetness sticking against my thighs as you pull out and move back in.

“Yeah, there we go, baby. You like that? Like how my fingers fill you up?”

“Yes. Fuck…”

“Unbutton my pants. Take my cock in your hand and feel how hard you’ve made me.”

I fumble with the buttons on your pants, desperate to feel you. I slide them down and your cock springs gently out of them.

“Oh god…”

“See how hard you’ve made me? Go ahead, stroke it. Slowly.”

I start working your shaft with my hand and we lose ourselves in a rhythm, your fingers fucking me in and out in time with my movements.

“That feels so good, baby. A little faster, yeah—like that. Such a good girl for me.”

“Fuck, keep going, that feels so good.”

“How do you want it tonight, baby? Tell me how you want me to fuck you. How you want me to use you.”

“I just want your cock in me—I want… I want it from behind.”

Your fingers slide out of me and you take a step back. Your eyes are hard and dark and my whole body is buzzing. I’m desperate for your touch again, I need it.

“I think you need to beg for me. Show me how much you need this cock inside you.”

“Please, Sir. I want you so fucking badly, please…”

You walk yourself backward towards the bed, stripping off your shirt and tossing it onto the ground.

You’re completely naked on the edge of the bed. Your cock twitches as you look me up and down.

“Get on your knees.”

I obey your instructions without another thought, sliding down onto my knees. The floor is hard, the texture of it makes me very aware that I’m naked on my knees for a man I just met.

You stroke your dick up and down and I can’t help but stare at it longingly. I’m starting to care less and less about how recently we just met.

“Crawl to me. And don’t you dare look away.”

I place my hands in front of me and slowly start moving towards you.

“Mmm, yes, right there. Stop right there. And place your hands on your knees.”

There’s something about you that’s both hard and soft… a gentle intensity or something.

“Yeah, that’s it. Such a good little slut for me.”

I bite my lip so hard it hurts a little.

“Oh, you like that, do you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“You want me deep inside you? You want to be used like a naughty little slut, don’t you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Hmm, well, the only way I am going to do that…”

You take my face in your hand and plant a soft kiss on my lips. I bite your lip and wrap my hands around your neck, but you softly push me back onto my knees.

“… is if you admit to me right here, right now, that you’re beautiful. That’s it. Two little words, and you can have what you need.”

You hold my gaze, your eyes taking in my naked body. All I can think about is feeling good, being yours, being obedient. Feeling your hands on me again, feeling that cock inside me, feeling your lips on mine.

“I’m beautiful.”

“Say it again.”

“I’m beautiful.”

“Mm, yes you are. What a good slut you are for me. Now, tell me again what you need, beautiful.”

“I need you inside me, right now. Please, Sir—I need you to tell me what to do. I need you to make me feel good, I’ve been so good for you…”

“You have been so good tonight. Stand up, bend over the bed.”

I normally hate being told what to do, but I can’t believe right now how desperate I am for exactly that.

You help me off my knees and bend me over the back of the bed. I flatten myself as much as I can against the mattress and push my ass in the air towards you.

“Fuck, yes. Spread those legs for me. Use your hands to spread those ass cheeks apart… yeah, just like that. Fuck, you look incredible. Such a gorgeous ass, such a needy pussy.”

I feel your hands stroking my back, my hips, grabbing my ass in your hands. Then, nothing.

I hear you rooting through the bag next to the bed. I turn my head to face you and see you pulling out a condom and some lube.

You roll the condom down your shaft. Then, you squirt a little bit of lube onto your fingers.

You position yourself behind me and glide your lubed fingers around my pussy, dragging the cold wetness up toward my asshole.

I clench the bed sheets in my hands as you circle my asshole, pressing down lightly.

I want you to fuck me and finger me and fill me up. I want you to use me and make me feel good.

“Are you going to play with my asshole while you fuck me, Sir?”

“That’s what you want, isn’t it, baby? You want to get fucked like a little slut while I finger your tight little asshole?”

“Yes, please fuck me like that, just like that.”

Your dick teases my pussy, sliding through the mixture of my own wetness and the lube. You push a little further inside me, inch by inch. It feels so good.

And finally you thrust all the way into me.

“Fuck…”

“Oh god, yes. Fuck, you’re so big…”

“Yeah, you like Sir’s big cock stretching you out?”

“Yes, yes, more, please. Keep going…”

You slide a lubed finger closer to my asshole and I rock backward, desperate for more of you filling me up.

I want to be spread apart, used as your toy. I want to feel good, really good, for the first time in so long.

“There we go…”

“Finger my asshole, Sir. Give it to me, please. I’ll do anything— ”

You press your finger into my ass slowly, teasing me. God, it’s torture. I need to be full from you—in my pussy, in my ass, I just need you.

“Yeah, keep going, please!”

“Good girl. Take it for me, nice and deep…”

Your finger slides deep into my asshole, as deep as it can go. I feel it pushing deeper inside me as I rock back onto your cock. It feels so good to be fucked like this.

“Yes, oh god, yes. That feels so good.”

“Such a good girl. So desperate. Letting me fuck your pussy and your ass like this. Good girl, take one more finger. You can do it…”

You add a second finger, slowly sliding in into my asshole, thrusting both in and out of me as you fuck me into the mattress.

“Yes, yes, don’t stop. Fuck…”

“You’re getting close, aren’t you sweetheart? Yeah, you want to cum all over my cock? Cum all over the bed? That’s what you want?”

“Yes, Sir—please make me cum. Fuck me harder, harder…”

“Call me a slut again, please, Sir. Fuck me harder, I can take it.”

“Such a needy fucking slut for me. Such a beautiful… needy slut.”

“Make me cum, please.”

“Yeah, cum for me. Cum all over the bed. Cum for me, right now.”

“Fuck, yes, let it go. Just like that. I’m gonna cum…”

“Fuck me hard, cum for me. Use me to cum, Sir, keep going, use me!”

“Good girl. You did so good.”

“The weight of you pressed into my back feels good… solid… My pussy clenches around your cock.”

“Mmm, fuck.”

“Oh wow.”

“Yeah, that was… that was amazing.”

You slide yourself out of me and I feel myself sink into the bed. My thighs are shaking so much I don’t think I could stand up if I wanted to.

“Get under the covers for me, okay? I’ll grab you some water.”

I slowly crawl to the top of the bed, and slide myself under the thick duvet. I’m exhausted but also just… overflowing with energy. I’m smiling so hard my face hurts.

You come back from the bathroom and hand me a cup of water.

“You did so great. Really, I’m impressed and that was… yeah, I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun with a client.”

“Yeah, I—well, I had no idea what to expect… but it wasn’t that.”

“Yeah, it takes a lot of people by surprise, the whole submission thing. Surrendering to someone else makes people feel a bit more in control of their lives. It’s ironic, I know.”

“Well, whatever it was, can we do it again?”

“Of course. I mean… we do have this room for the whole night. I’m fine to rest a bit and go for round two. What do you say?”

“Yes, Sir.”