Oral Guide for Her

Hi, there. My name is Lizzy. Today we’re going to practice giving oral sex to a partner. This episode is going to focus on vulva-owners and how to use the tongue to bring your partner pleasure.

Oral sex is one of those things that feels different to everyone. Some people love it, some people are ambivalent about it. It can be a great foreplay exercise for some and the main event for others. The important thing to know is that everyone’s vulva is different and everyone is going to experience oral sex a little differently. Today we’re going to just be focusing on oral, but before we get started, consider if you want to include any other stimulation during this exercise.

Like I mentioned before, some people find oral enough on its own, but others might need that extra little something to make it really enjoyable. For example, either of you might want to include a vibrator, or maybe wear a buttplug, or possibly nipple clamps. If you’re going to be receiving during this exercise, be ready to give your partner some constructive feedback. Tell them when you really like what you’re doing. And gently guide or adjust them when you want them to try something else. If you’re going to be giving today, try not overthink what you’re doing. You know your partner. Follow their body language, their emotional signs, and any verbal feedback they give you. Being able to sense and understand your partner’s comfort level is a great skill when it comes to sex.

Alright, let’s go ahead and get comfortable. Make sure you and your partner are somewhere private where you can spend some uninterrupted time together. If you’d like, you can lie down on the bed together or perhaps stretch out on the floor. Anywhere that you’ll be comfortable and able to move around a bit.

Now, before we get started, let’s do a little breathing exercise to get our minds clear and our bodies calm. Take a deep breath in. And out. That’s great. Let’s do one more. In…and out. Very good.

Alright. We’re going to start with some gentle and slow foreplay. Whatever that might mean for both of you; kissing, embracing, dragging your fingers gently down each other’s bodies. Just relax into each other’s touch and start to get warmed up.

If you haven’t decided yet who will be giving and who will be receiving today, you can discuss that right now. Keep going, make each other feel good…however that looks and feels for both of you. Very good. You’re doing great.

We’re going to move on now. But if you need to, you can pause this episode and spend as much time as you’d like warming each other up. Sound good?

If you’re going to be giving oral today, I want you to gently start making your way down your partner’s body. Using your lips, draw a line from their mouth all the way down to their hips. Kiss their neck, their shoulders, their chest. Their stomach. Go slow. Maybe add in little touches here and there.

That’s great. As you slowly get into position, make sure that both of you are comfortable. If you’re receiving, maybe get a pillow for your neck. And if you’re giving, consider a pillow for your knees.

Perfect. Feel free to begin giving your partner oral as I talk. I’m going to be giving you some tips and things to try as you go.

Although oral is focused on the genitals, you want to make sure that you don’t neglect the rest of your partner’s body. Giving them multiple points of stimulation is going to amplify their pleasure. As you get settled between their legs, try dragging your fingers down their thighs. If they like a slightly harder touch, you can try kneading or massaging them.

If they enjoy having their nipples teased, you might want to reach up and pinch them a little. If they’re wearing nipple clamps, you can tug on them gently…

As you start maneuvering your tongue throughout the vulva, try not to focus on the clitoris just yet. Right now, just swirl your tongue in a slow circular motion around the clitoris. The inner and outer labia are very sensitive to touch. Give those areas a bit of attention with your tongue. Try finding places inside your partner, other than the clit, that gives them pleasure. That’s great. If you’re receiving right now, make sure to give your partner some feedback. Even if it’s just to tell them you like what they’re doing.

Very good. Let’s draw the tongue very, very slowly up to the clit. If you need a reminder, the clit will be a little harder than the rest of the inner vulva. It will have a slight bean, or bud, shape to it. Think about using not just your tongue here, but your entire mouth. You can suck the clitoral hood, which is just above the clitoris, between your lips while you tongue the clit. Does your partner like that?

As you’re licking the clit, try flattening your tongue against their vulva. Imagine you’re licking an ice-cream cone. They might prefer this approach to the swirling motion we tried before. Very good. If you want to keep performing this part of the exercise, feel free to pause the episode and resume it when you’re ready. If you and your partner feel up for it, let’s add in some penetration.

Some people really like the feeling of being penetrated by the tongue. It can feel like a softer, more gentler form of penetration than the fingers or phallic objects can provide. Others might not find the sensation as pleasurable. If your partner knows they don’t enjoy that sensation, you can continue to lick their clit and slowly, gently, insert a finger or a vibrator into their vagina. Otherwise, push the tip of your tongue towards their vagina. You might need to brace yourself on the edge of the bed or on the arm rests of the couch to get your tongue in deep.

How is that? Make sure to keep giving your partner feedback. If you like what they’re doing, tell them. If you need to adjust a little, that’s totally fine. Feel free now to combine penetration, stimulating their clit with your tongue, and any other body sensations. Stimulating multiple parts of their body, not just the vulva, will make your partner’s pleasure that much more exciting.

I’m going to give you some time now to keep going and practice these different techniques. If you and your partner both have vulvas, you might want to switch positions now. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you continue to explore and give each other pleasure. Thanks for listening.