Holiday Heat IV

It’s just a walk. Just like it was just a carriage ride. Just a night at the pub. It’s not like I’m being chased through the wilderness or that I have anything to be afraid of. It’s just Nick. Just a walk. He’s not my ex. He’s nothing like my ex.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Oh! Hm?”

“You’re quiet… which is either mildly ominous, or intensely interesting.”

“Why not both?”

“Am I boring you?”

“No! I’m just… thinking.”

My stomach knots, dipping in a way that makes me feel unsteady when he doesn’t look away. His gaze is soft, searching, and his open expression makes me want to tell him everything… why I hate Christmas, and how it ended up with me taking a last minute trip here, in an attempt to escape the memory of what happened the last time I let someone get close enough to hurt me.

I don’t miss my ex, but I miss who I was before I became so guarded. I’m afraid if I’m not careful, Nick’s going to make me forget why I built these walls so high in the first place.

“You know, I like that you walk ahead of me sometimes. Shows leadership, a real confidence about you… Or arrogance, I can’t tell which ”

“Stop flirting with me, I might think you like me.”

“I do.”

“Oh”

“And I really like it when you blush like that.”

“In fact, if you keep looking at me like that, I might get ideas.”

“Maybe I’d like that”

Yesterday couldn’t have been any more perfect, and I really thought we’d done it all. Which is why I’m so surprised when Ben tugs me out the door after breakfast, promising me just one more thing to complete my Christmas in New York adventure.

“We’re here.”

I love the reassuring way he squeezes my hand as he pulls my attention to the adorable Christmas market sprawling in front of us. Little stalls with all kinds of holiday wares twinkle beneath the lights, and it looks almost like a village tucked into this corner of a park in a bustling city. There’s even a ferris wheel, and it’s everything I didn’t know I wanted.

“Oh, Ben. It’s…. gorgeous.”

He just keeps adding to all the reasons I want to fall for him, even when I shouldn’t. It’s like he’s entirely forgotten that I’m leaving tomorrow.

“As we weave between the crowds of people, I can’t shake off the bittersweet sadness of how wonderful this has been, perfect really. Too perfect.. Because perfect things don’t last. ”

“Hey, what’s that face?”

“Just thinking.”

“His brow is furrowed, face serious as he draws me to the edge of the path and pulls me close, arms wrapping around me, almost like a hug.”

“About?”

“Maybe it’s the tenderness of his touch, or the look on his face. I’m not really sure why I decide to be more honest than I ever planned to be”

“Reality. That this has been incredible, magic really. But I leave tomorrow and… your life is here. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to get hurt. We can’t just forget that this is temporary. ”

“Nothing is set in stone. I mean… maybe it doesn’t have to be temporary.”

“We could try, couldn’t we? Stay in touch. Plan visits. Whatever works. We could try… I mean… I want to try. I’m crazy about you, Rose ”

“Ben…”

“We don’t have to decide tonight. But I just… wanted to let you know where my head is at… that’s all. Come on, let’s go have a Christmas eve to remember. No regrets. Okay? ”

“Okay”

After a scenic morning walk, Nick made excuses about something he forgot, and rushed off. He promised he’d be back, but it’s been like an hour and there’s no sign of him. Did I do something to scare him off? Probably.

Maybe it’s better this way… I just wish I believed that... not that I made a habit of believing men much these days.

But I’ve decided to make the most of it as I snuggle down into the coziest blanket I could find, fire roaring and a book—

Or maybe not.

“Delivery of… uh, Christmas cheer. And wine! ”

“I’m all for the wine and company but… Christmas cheer? For what?”

“For your tree. It’s looking so much better since we hung those like, three ornaments, but it looks lonely. It needs friends. You don’t want your tree to feel sad do you? ”

“I mean come on, don’t you think it needs a little sparkle?”

Okay, rude. But as I look around the room, barren of any decorations except the tree, I realise he’s not wrong.

“Nick, I am not decorating ANYTHING else in this house. ”

“Mmmhm, scooch over.”

“Are those… sequined baubles?”

“Absolutely, a whole string of them! Sequins are integral to joy.”

I don’t mean to drop the sequined monstrosity. But I..

“To joy?”

“Yes, joy. Because joy is important.”

He’s impossible. Infuriating even, walking in here like he owns the place and decorating MY tree…. And somehow, his insistence on joy is… working.

“Here, hold this”

I don’t have time to think before he’s dropping something soft and unidentifiable into my hands…

“Is this Santa… wearing sunglasses?”

“Yes! Isn’t he fun?”

“No! He looks like he belongs in a boyband!”

“So? Just means he’ll look perfect over there, right next to the stereo.”

I should refuse. I even plan to, I plan to hold my ground and refuse the very Beach Boys Santa, and— Why am I walking toward the stereo, why am I setting him down?

“Look at you go! Participating!”

“Don’t narrate my personal growth, Nicholas.”

“Nicholas?? Oof, not the full name… this calls for reinforcements....”

“Ah-ha! Tinsel!”

“Absolutely not. Tinsel is tacky and—”

“Oh my god, no! Nick!”

“Hm? You know, the tinsel suits you. ”

I watch him watching me, the way he’s taking in the tinsel and his soft smile, it’s almost sweet… if I hadn’t noticed that the thin streamers of glitter were hanging from my tits. He’s… staring at my tits.

“The… I’ve got the perfect place. Put the tinsel there– yes, on the mantle. The lights…. From the…tree…”

He trails off, watching me as I pick the tinsel up, and losing track of his sentence as he does. I try not to let it affect me, but I can’t ignore the way my skin heats, awareness flushing my chest and tightening my core. So I try to push it away, reaching instead for the next strand of lights, this time to add to the beams over the kitchen door. I keep going, adding lights and tinsel to the room until… I realise I’m having… fun.

“Higher with that one… yeah.. Wait, a little higher.”

“Nick, I can’t… stretch any higher”

“Here, let me help”

I think about every other time he’s been close to me. Our almost misses and near kisses…. But before I remember that I should say no, he’s at my back, broad chest pressed against me as his hands grip my hips and lift me, just slightly,

I can feel the warmth of him, and the way his cold air and warm pine scent fill my senses makes my pulse flutter like–

“There we go.”

“Thank you for the help. You can put me down now”

“Do you want me to?”

“Why would you ask me that?”

“Because you’re leaning into me, like you want me here”

“Maybe I can just see the tree better from here.”

“And do you like what you see?”

I know it’s a trap, I know I shouldn’t…I turn until I’m facing him, and meet his gaze.

“Yes.”

“Good, then Amelia.. I need you to hold still.”

“Why?”

When I look up, mistletoe hangs above our heads.

“Nick… we can’t...”

“Mistletoe tradition is bigger than the both of us, my hands are tied.”

His voice, his smile… the way the low firelight twinkles in his eyes. I should walk away. I should tell him no, I know he’d respect it.

But I don’t want to. I want, more than anything, to give in to him. Just this once.

“Are you thinking?”

“Always”

“What are you thinking about?”

“This…And the last time I was alone with a man like this.. And how badly it bit me in the ass… ”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

His body is hard against mine, but his voice is soft and… I want to tell him.

“My last relationship didn’t…. It just didn’t end well. He actually… we broke up. On Christmas. He was cheating and the whole thing was… really awful honestly. It’s kinda put me off relationships. And Christmas. And like, joy, as a whole. ”

“I noticed.. But I also notice the way your eyes are sparkling right now and how you haven’t pulled away when I’m holding you like this… and I’m wondering if you might be ready to give Christmas another shot. I mean, there’s mistletoe and everything. ”

“I don’t know… it feels too hard. What if— ”

“Is it too hard, or are you thinking too hard about it?”

“Maybe both”

“Well, if I kiss you, will you stop thinking?”

“Probably not”

“Can I try?”

“Yes.”

This kiss is unlike any kiss I’ve had before, and I lose track of myself, my senses and everything except the feel of his lips, his hands, his body against mine as our kiss deepens.

God, his tongue dips between my lips, tasting me moving with a rhythm that heats my blood and makes my back arch. If he kisses like this, what else can he do?

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No”

And then his hands are in my hair, his lips on mine once more as he lowers us to the floor.

My thighs splay across his hips as I settle on top of him, our lips never parting as he deepens the kiss and holds my mouth to his with a light grip on the back of my head. I… I didn’t know I’d like that kind of thing.

I’m so used to being in charge, but even though I’m straddling him, he’s guiding the kiss, his hands are holding me in place. He’s taking charge, and it feels so fucking good.

“You feel so good… can I-”

His hands trace the edge of my top, asking for permission to remove it or to put his hands under it… I’m not really sure and I definitely don’t care, as long as he doesn’t stop touching me.

“Yes, please”

His fingers find the edge of the soft bra top I’m wearing underneath my jumper, and he palms my tits through the thin fabric.

“Oh god, yes.”

“You like that? Are they sensitive?”

I’ve always been responsive, but the way my body arches when he rolls my nipples between his thumbs takes me by surprise.

“So good, yes.”

“You feel so good in my hands. A perfect fit.”

I’m arching into the expert pleasure his hands give me as he plays with my tits, and that’s when I notice the subtle way he’s rocking beneath me… I can feel the hard length of his cock against my thigh and with a little shift and shimmy… ohhhh, yeah, right there.

“Oh, god”

“You… like that?”

He dips his head, sucking my nipple through the thin top like the tease he is as I continue to rock on his hard dick, rolling my hips in slow lazy circles.

“I’d say so… if you keep that up, I’m going to embarrass myself before we even take our clothes off”

I still, surprised at how fucking hot that mental image is. The idea that I could make a man cum in his jeans from a little teasing makes me flush with need, pride and a sense of delight I can’t name, especially when–

“Yessss, god, yes”

He abruptly tugs my top and bra over my head in one smooth move, baring my breasts to him at last and he wastes no time taking advantage as his hot mouth closes over my bare nipple now, sucking and nipping in rapid succession as he holds me to him, encouraging me to keep grinding despite what he said…

“So good, so beautiful. Yes, that’s it”

His praise only increases my desperate pleasure, and I think I might cum like this if he keeps going…. Just the feel of his cock and his mouth on my tits… it’s unreal.. So good. I want more of him.

“More. I want more. ”

“You want more? What do you want more of?”

“You.”

“Be more specific. Tell me what you want.”

I reach between us, seeking the hot, hard length of his cock until I’m gripping him loosely, the back of my hand rubbing against my own pussy so i can feel how hot I am even though my clothes.

“This”

“You want my cock? I thought you’d never ask. Sit back, beautiful. ”

I do as he asks, leaning back onto his thighs so he can unzip his jeans and free himself… in the low light, it’s hard to miss the way he glistens and throbs as he fists his dick and strokes himself lightly.

I’m watching him, my attention focussed on the slow slide of his fist along his shaft, my mouth practically watering.

He looks so good, and it’s been so long… the way my body is responding to him is electric and my need feels like wildfire in my veins as I rock my hips in time with his strokes, trying to find friction from anything I can…

“Do you want me… or do you just like to watch?”

My cheeks flush and my pussy throbs, because the answer is both. But my need wins out now.

“I want you… please, I-”

I stop abruptly when he reaches forward to lift me.

“On your feet, princess. Off.. all of it.”

He tugs at my leggings as he sets me on my feet and I do as he asks, making quick work until I’m standing before him, wearing nothing but the shadows of the flickering fire and the twinkling lights on the tree.

“You’re… wow. Come here. ”

The command in his voice should grate me. I should want to rebel, but instead, I melt. I’m a puddle of arousal as I obey, stepping toward him until he reaches for me, his hands skimming slow and careful up my curves.

“I’ve thought about what it would be like to be with you. To get past those prickly defenses and find what soft, sweet treasures lay beneath… But I never imagined you like this. Look at you. ”

But I’m too busy looking at him, the way his eyes have darkened, how his chest rises in short, sharp breaths of arousal and The way his cock throbs, twitching with need as his attention lingers on my tits, my hips… the shadow between my thighs. God, the way he’s looking at me makes me desperate.

“So beautiful…”

As he kisses me, he’s walking me backward, slow steps I barely notice as my body comes alive under his touch.

“Lay back.”

“Fuck, I can’t… I need to be inside you.”

“I need you inside me.”

“You ready?””

“So ready, please….”

His hand moves between our bodies, weight shifting until I feel the thick head of his dick nudging against my slick heat and—

“Ohhhh fuck, yes… so good.. So perfect.”

“Ohhhh, god, yes.”

He feels so good, so thick as he stretches me and mmm, the pace he sets is perfect as he rolls his hips and finds my lips, kissing me hard as we fuck.

“Baby, fuck… I’m– I’m not going to last long like this. So good. So good for me. ”

He fits perfectly, and the drag of his stubble on my sensitive jaw, his chest hair on my peaked breasts… the strength of his thighs as he pumps into me. It’s all too much and not enough, I want more… but I’m already so close.

“Me too.. So close.”

“Oh, oh yes.. Right there.”

The tilt of his hips strokes me in all the right places and when he does it again, I know I’m going to–

“Oh yes, yes. Don’t stop, I’m going to cum. I need to… please… please… ”

“That’s it, cum for me. Cum on my cock, I’m close too… cum for me… come on baby, cum. ”

“Jesus, baby… you took me by surprise. I’ve never… I haven’t cum like that since I was a teenager. ”

“No? I must be special then.”

“More special than you know.”

My heart skips a beat, breath catching as something swells inside me… this feeling like…

“Oh”

“Checked in for my flight.. Can’t believe this is almost over.”

“About that…”

“Everything okay??”

“Yeah, things are…. Good. I’m just thinking… my flight got cancelled and I’m really not in a rush to get back.”

“You could stay…Just for a few days, if you wanted ”

“Really?”

“Yes, absolutely. We’ve come this far together… feels a little funny that we haven’t even met. We should change that. ”

“If you’re sure, I’d… really like that. I’ve got so much to tell you.”

“I’m sure. Ahh, how exciting. Merry christmas, Amelia. I’ll see you tomorow.”

I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare, but it turns out I’m just using it to think. don’t know why I’m feeling so nervous. I’m just going home. It’s just a flight. Nothing I haven’t done before. Just… Going back to normal. I’m used to–

“ROSE!”

“Ben! What are you… why are you here? With… luggage? ”

“I meant what I said last night. We don’t have to decide anything. But… I didn’t want this to end on your doorstep. Not when I get this tug in my chest every time you look at me. And I don’t want to be presumptuous but… I’ve got some vacation days and I thought… well, I need more time. With you. I’m not ready to say goodbye, and I was thinking, maybe a trip to England is exactly what I need. If… that’s okay with you? ”

I know he’s waiting for a reply, that I need to say something, but I’m speechless, my heart skipping like a record at the way he’s looking at me. The way I want him to keep looking at me like this.

“I mean, if you think you can survive the English countryside and.. Yes. ”

“Rose!”

“Amelia!”

“And you brought a souvenir! Hi Ben. ”

“I’m the souvenir. Hi.”

Amelia steps back, and we all file in. I’m suddenly so glad to be home as I look around my little cottage, taking in the tree, the festive decor and the incredible smell of cookies baking…

“Hello.”

“Ah!”

I was so focussed on the cottage, that somehow I didn’t notice Nick sitting on the sofa at first… but now I’ve seen him, I can’t miss the way he and Amelia are looking between each other, flushed with knowing and…

“Oh my god, did you two…”

“We didn’t… not.”

“Oh, we totally did. I fucked the festive into her. ”

“Nick!”

“Nick!”

And just like that… the weirdest, loveliest, most unexpected holiday of my life clicked into place. Not perfect. Not decided. But warm. Full. Hopeful.