Your Shy Best Friend

Hey, it’s me.

Yeah, I’m on my way over right now. I just… I wanted to tell you something before I got there because I think I’ll lose my nerve if I have to say this to your face.

No, no it’s not bad. It’s… just listen, okay? It’ll be way easier for me if you just listen and… yeah. Just…

Okay, right, here’s the thing… this might be a bit rambly but I need to get it out and you need to hear it, I think.

Like really hear it… listen to the words… and also what the words mean if that makes sense.

Which now I’ve said it seems kind of silly because all words have a meaning, but hopefully you get what I mean.

Oh it doesn’t matter, you’ll get it… or you won’t, though hopefully you do, because I really don’t know what I’m going to do if— anyways. I’ll just… start.

Getting these kinds of things out has never really been my strong point… I mean, talking in general has never really been my strong point.

Right, so anyway, um, if you need me to clear anything up let me know but… here it goes.

Like I said, talking has never really been something I’m good at… expressing my feelings, thoughts… it’s just not something that comes naturally to me.

Which often leads to me not saying them at all, which means I miss my chance. I’ve missed so many chances… so many moments. And I don’t want that to happen again. Not with this… with you, I mean.

Right so, here it goes… okay, us - we always have a lot of fun when we’re together right?

Like even when it’s not just you and me, or when things don’t go the way we planned… we always seem to make the best of it… together.

At least that’s how I feel, I always have fun with you, and I hope you always have fun with me.

I think you do at least, I think you have fun with me, unless I’ve misread things, which maybe I have.

But I really hope I haven’t, because if I have then this whole walk to yours will have been wasted.

Maybe it’ll be wasted anyway, maybe you’ll get this and just think it’s all super weird, which, like, it is pretty weird now I think about it.

There are probably better ways to have gone about it, actually there are definitely better ways to have gone about it.

you answering would have made this all a lot easier, then again maybe I’d have chickened out.

The stakes on doing it this way feel both lower and higher at the same time which is super daunting.

But maybe this way gives me more leeway, and hopefully that means I can’t mess it up too badly.

Anyway, right, I was saying we always have fun when we’re out together, even if not everyone else is.

Like the time we all went to that new mexican place and it was a mess. It was so busy, food orders were wrong, staff had no idea what was going on.

Everyone else in the group was so angry with the whole thing, and like I get why, it was expensive and too busy, and so warm.

But you and I, we were just at the end of the booth giggling away at it all, each thing that went wrong just made us laugh more.

And when that waiter tripped over nothing and spilled those margaritas everywhere, we couldn’t breathe we were laughing so hard.

Or the time at concert, I mean we just vibed together and hung out but everyone else seemed so mad about the whole thing.

I really enjoyed both of those times, and so many others, but they all have one thing in common.

I got to spend them with you, and that’s the major thing, I enjoy my time with you, whether we’re just hanging out or if we’re out and doing something.

It doesn’t matter, as long as I’m doing it with you it all feels a lot more comfortable, a lot more fun.

I find meeting new people, doing new things, pretty intimidating, and sometimes it’s just overwhelming.

With you though, they always feels a lot more manageable. Plus I remember when i met you, it didn’t seem daunting.

We just talked, there was nothing fancy, and we talked about so many things, but I remember it being so relaxed.

Maybe it wasn’t for you, maybe it was all really odd. In fact I’d like to know, because two people can experience something in completely different ways.

I’m just hoping that you haven’t experienced anything in such a different way to me.

We’ve known each other for a while, a long while actually now I think about, which I’ve never really done before.

Which probably sounds strange, but then again what aspect of this whole thing doesn’t sound strange.

But for me, since the moment we met, we’ve always gotten on really well and we’ve maintained that over the years.

In fact I’d say we’ve gotten closer over the years, a lot closer, there’s things I’ve talked about with you that I’d never dream about talking about with anyone else.

Oh, sorry, traffic, someone wasn’t paying attention at that junction. Think they were texting or something.

Which is absolutely stupid, plus you see cops around here all the time. If you need to text that badly just pull over.

But anyway, yeah, a long time and we’ve gotten closer and we talk about things in more depth.

You’ve also said that you’ve told me things, and spoken about things with me, more than you have other people.

I feel you confide in me more, and I do the same with you, and that’s helped us feel closer too.

It’s one of the things I was thinking about when I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago.

I thought about the fun we have, the conversations we have, the way we interacted with each other.

I’m not saying one person has to be everything to their partner, but I realized she was none of those things to me.

I didn’t feel I could be as open and honest with her, we didn’t have as much fun, I didn’t feel I could talk to her the way I felt I needed to.

We didn’t gel the way a couple should, even after all that time it still felt so surface level.

I tried to take it further but we communicated in such different ways that I feel we were both there just because we were comfortable.

But thinking about that made me think about the people who did fulfill those things for me, and really there was only one person.

I wasn’t really honest with you when we spoke about why I’d broken up with my ex, but I didn’t lie either.

Omission, that’s it, I omitted something because it felt easier at the time but the more I thought about it the harder it became.

I didn’t want to not say something, I tried rationalizing it in my head and all I could come up with was that realistically I was trying to protect myself.

But if I didn’t say something then I’d regret it, and that regret would gnaw at me in a way that failure wouldn’t.

I already have a lot of things I regret, and I don’t want to add something so big to that pile.

So that’s what I’m doing, I’m leaving novel on your voicemail as I walk to your apartment because you’re the one I want.

I want to be with you, I want to hold you, to kiss you, to dance in the kitchen, to watch bad movies, to do all the cheesy but amazing things.

You, you’re it, you’re my happy ending and even if I don’t get it I at least want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know I tried.

You’re amazing, you’re funny, so quick witted, intelligent, caring, compassionate, supportive. Your smile makes my heart rate quicken.

The way your eyes catch the light makes my throat dry up. You’re more beautiful than I can really comprehend, and who you are contributes to that so much.

So now as I approach your building I think I’ve managed to get out all I could say, though no doubt there’s more.

But I don’t want to make this any longer than it has to be, and I don’t even know if you’ll answer the door.

Which you don’t have to of course, if this is all too much, or just too much for now you don’t need to do anything.

I did this because I had to, I, I just had to, but you don’t have to do anything, you could simply say no, but even then I’d have already achieved something today.

So, uh, yeah, as I walk up the path to your door that’s uh, that’s all I wanted to say I suppose.

But if you’ve got questions, and god I bet you have a lot of them, because I definitely would.

But if you have questions just let me know and I’ll do all I can to…

Hi.

God I had no idea if you’d even open the door but I’m so damn happy that you did.

Your lips feels so fucking good, so soft, the way they draw me in, I had no idea, yet somehow I knew already.

I had no idea what would happen when I walked over here, what would be waiting for me, or what would never happen.

To feel your hands on me, to feel mine on you, it’s, it’s fucking unreal, it’s like a dream but I’m honestly not that imaginative.

How do my lips feel? Moving down across your neck to your shoulder? Do you like that?

Fuck you, you look absolutely amazing. I had no idea that my life would ever involve you standing topless before me.

Or that I’d be standing topless before you, or that any of this would be happening, I don’t think I could have even hoped.

Do you like that, my lips moving down, across your collarbone, down your chest, tracing the soft curve of your breast.

Down across your stomach to the waistband of your pants, carefully pulling them down and kissing each inch of newly exposed skin.

Moving across your hips, down your thighs, and then we can get rid of these pants entirely.

You look absolutely amazing laying there like that, you’re just stunning, it’s a view I could absolutely get used to.

One I’d very much like to get used to actually, but I have far more in mind for tonight.

And by that look in your eye you absolutely do as well, and I can’t wait to find out what it is.

Your thighs feel so soft beneath my hands, so warm an inviting, leading all the way up to your beautiful pussy.

Mmm, fuck, you feel so fucking good. Do you like that, the light touch of my fingertips exploring?

Lightly playing with your clit as I run my tongue around your nipple, mmm, yes, just like that.

There’s nothing else you need to do other think focus on how good my tongue feels around your nipple.

And how good my fingers feel as they play with your clit, just relax, we’ve waited so long for this.

How does that feel, my fingers slowly sliding inside you, fuck, you feel so good, so warm, so wet, so fucking perfect.

What’s that you’ve grabbed, oh. I should have known you’d be prepared, oh, you want to put it on me? Of course.

Oh wow, happy to push me around eh? Wanted me on my back?

That’s it, slowly slide it down along my shaft, fuck it’s hot to watch you do that, seeing the need in your eyes.

That’s it, I want you to straddle me, I want you to lower your beautiful pussy down onto my cock.

Mmm, fuck, yes, just like that, fuck. You feel so fucking good it’s unreal, keep going.

Wait a moment, just let me relish this, the feel of you, both me inside you as well as you on top of me.

It’s so much fucking better than anything I could have even imagined, you’re better than I could have imagined.

That’s it, grind your hips just like that, long, slow motion, fuck, yes, grip my shoulders, that’s it.

I can feel you squeezing me with your thighs as you ride me, thighs I just can’t keep my hands off of.

Running them up and down, squeezing them, then running them up to your hips to pull you forward onto me.

Go slow for me, yes, fuck, that’s what I want, I want to be able to remember every single sensation.

Not like any of this is something I’ll forget, how could I? This is all way too fucking good to every be forgotten.

Oh fuck, yes, grind on my cock, that’s it. That feels too fucking good, your pussy just feels amazing.

More, I want more, yes, exactly, yes, I want you to show me how much you want this, how much you need it.

I want you to let go of everything and ride my cock how you want to, I want to feel and hear everything you’ve kept to yourself.

Oh, oh holy fuck, yes, that’s it, fuck. Yes, ride my cock just like…like…that. Ugh, fuck, yes, just like that.

You look so fucking good like this, the way your eyes catch the light, it’s just incredible to see, to take in.

This whole moment, everything that’s led to hear and now it’s all been so much better than anything I could have hoped for.

And now to have you riding my cock, looking so fucking good and feeling even better.

I can feel your fingers digging into my shoulders more with each thrust you make, each time my cock fills you.

And hearing your moans, fuck you sound so fucking good, I want more, more, come on, that’s it, don’t stop.

Yes, fuck, keep going. I can hear your moans getting more urgent, you’re getting close, I can feel it too.

Don’t stop, keep going, I want you to keep going. Don’t think about anything else, just focus on how good all of this feels.

How good it feels to have my cock inside you, to be riding me, to be grinding your clit against me.

Fuck, oh fuck, yes, that’s it, that’s it. Grip my shoulders as tight as you like, I don’t care. All that matters is how good all of this feels.

Fuck, just, ugh, fuck, keep going, I, I need you to keep going. I’m so fucking close, fuck.

That’s it, yes, yes yes yes, fuck. Don’t stop, don’t stop, you’re so close, I want to feel you cum.

I want to feel you cum for me, to feel what that’s like, to hear what that’s like.

That, that’s it, yes, keep going.

Yes, fuck fuck, yes, keep going, just like that.

Fuck you feel so good, keep grinding against me, don’t stop.

Oh fuck, yes, that’s it.

Don’t stop, not now, you’re so close, yes, yes.

You’re doing so good, keep going, fuck, yes, just like that.

Oh fuck, yes, yes.

Holy fuck that was incredible. The moment I felt you cum I couldn’t stop myself.

I’ve got you, yeah, just lay on my chest, just like that. There’s nothing else you need to be doing.

You are incredible, just absolutely fucking incredible.

Uh, yeah, that, well, that’s a good question, what now? I didn’t really expect to get this far, but you’re right, we should talk.

Oh, ha, right right. Well we could cuddle for a bit, or if you’re hungry I can order something.

But we’re in no rush, right?

Great, well why don’t we just cuddle for a bit then, there’s nothing else that needs our attention.

At least nothing that’s as important as you that needs my attention.

I could never get tired of kissing you, it feels way too good, and makes my stomach do that fluttering thing.

And I can’t wait to feel that a whole lot more.