Impact Play for Beginners

Today, we’re going to be talking about impact play.

I know, I know—that already might sound too intense for some people, but I can assure you that impact play is just as much about pleasure as it is about pain.

Many people experience sexual pleasure from witnessing, receiving, or doling out spankings, slaps, and more. It’s a common thing, so there’s no need to feel any shame around it.

Some people get an adrenaline rush from various amounts of pain which, naturally, can feel extremely pleasurable. Other people really enjoy the psychological aspect that comes with spanking or flogging, which is usually associated with domination and submission.

Because impact play can be misused or unintentionally cause more pain than was intended, it’s really important that there’s established trust between you and your partner before trying something like this. First and foremost, consent and communication are at the heart of healthy impact play practices.

As with most other BDSM-related activities, this is something you’re going to want to discuss beforehand. People can have very different reactions to pain, especially unexpected pain, so remember to take this new activity nice and slow when you’re first starting out.

Now, whether you and your partner have discussed impact play before or this is something brand new to the both of you, I’m going to give you some time to discuss what it is exactly you’re looking for from this activity.

You may already know that you enjoy hard spankings from your partner and you’re curious about paddles or floggers. Or, you might have no idea if you’re going to like this at all. Both are totally fine.

So, here’s what I want you and your partner to talk about for the next few minutes: Do you want to use your hands or toys? Or maybe both?

Do you want to leave marks on your partner’s body? Consider where and how visible these marks might be.

Do you want to give, receive, or both?

And, finally, consider the psychological reason behind including impact play in the bedroom. In other words, do you want to be humiliated? Do you want to be punished? Or do you want to use impact play as a reward?

Okay, if you and your partner have not already discussed these things prior to turning on this episode, I want you to pause and take a few minutes to talk these things out. When you’re ready, click ‘play’ and we’ll continue on.

Ready, then? Alright, let’s go.

So, now that you have the basics down with your partner, let’s talk safety.

It’s important that we practice impact play with full knowledge of our partner’s boundaries. This is not just about what to do and what not to do, but being considerate of your partner’s pain threshold and their psychological limits.

Like all other BDSM activities, we’re going to want to have a safe word just in case you or your partner becomes uncomfortable or decides that they’re not enjoying the scene. I’m going to give you a little bit of time here for you and your partner to discuss what your safe word is going to be and any hard boundaries that you might have.

I’ll meet you back here in about thirty seconds.

All set? Great. If you need any more time to discuss these things, go ahead and pause this episode and come back when you’re ready.

So, we have our boundaries and safe word in place. We know, theoretically, what we want to do. The next step is to… do it.

I’m going to guide you and your partner through a light spanking tutorial. Eventually, you can work your way up to slapping, caning, and even flogging if you’d like. But, for now, we’re going to stick with the basics.

Once we’re done with that, I’m going to leave you on your own to take the practice portion into your own hands.

Alright, I want you and your partner to get settled somewhere comfortable. Whether that’s your bed or your couch or somewhere else. Just find somewhere that’s private and quiet.

Take a deep inhale…

And exhale.

Very good. Let your body start to loosen up as we take another deep breath in…

…and out.

That’s perfect.

Okay, if you don’t already know who is going to be giving and going to be receiving, go ahead and make that decision.

Whoever is going to be administering the spankings, I have a little assignment for you.

Before you begin spanking your partner, I want you to first spank yourself. It doesn’t have to be on your ass. In fact, you can use the inside of your arm or thigh as a good testing ground.

Strike yourself on the arm lightly with your fingers spread apart and note how it feels.

You might be surprised at the difference between what your brain and your body consider to be ‘light.’ Take note of any bodily sensations you felt, like tingling or stinging.

Now, I want you to strike yourself again, still light, but this time with your fingers pressed together.

It feels different, doesn’t it? Not much, but you should be able to notice that striking with your fingers together produces a slightly harder impact.

The differences in sensation you feel are due to very subtle and slight changes of your hand positioning and force, so keep that in mind when you’re spanking someone else.

You should also keep in mind that what one person might think of as a ‘light’ spanking might feel like a ‘hard’ spanking to someone else.

Okay, now, whoever will be on the receiving end of our impact play tutorial should go ahead and get on all fours with your ass pushed outward. You’re going to be in this position for a little while, so make sure that you’re comfortable.

I want you, the spanker, to spank your partner’s ass ten times. After each spanking, your partner should rate the pain they felt on a scale of 1 to 10.

This is going to give both of you a deeper understanding of your partner’s pain tolerance and help them figure out what it is exactly that they want to get out of a good impact play session.

As you administer these ten spankings, play with the force you’re using and the arrangement of your fingers, whether they’re pushed together or spread apart.

Alright, ready? First spanking. Go.

Great job. Spank your partner again.

Perfect. And again.

Fourth one now.

Alright, we’re halfway done. Again.

Very good. Spank them again.

Give them their seventh spanking now.

You’re both doing so good. Eighth.

Almost done. Again.

And… the final spank.

Great job. A couple of things you both might be noticing right now…

Whoever is getting spanked, your ass might be feeling tingly or stinging a bit, which is totally normal. It might also be feeling very warm in the area of the impact. That’s also very normal and is a sign from your body that you can move on to a more intense impact.

If your skin is warm or hot to the touch, that means blood has rushed to the area in response to pain. It also means that your body is releasing endorphins which increase your pain tolerance.

Whoever was doing the spanking, you might notice that your hand is a bit sore or that you actually might have winded yourself doing so much spanking. One way to avoid feeling sore is to use an item like a paddle or a crop instead of your bare hand.

If you do find yourself interested in using those items, I encourage you to do this exercise again once you’ve got a toy in hand. Be mindful that the toy is going to feel much different to your partner than your hand, so go slow.

Now that you understand a little bit more about how to engage in a little impact play in the bedroom, I’m going to let you and your partner have some time alone to experiment.

But first, before I let you go, let’s talk a couple of important safety rules.

If you’re interested in taking impact play beyond spanking your partner’s ass, there are a few other places on the body that can be fun to slap or strike, such as the back of their thighs, breasts, and face. There are a few places, however, that should definitely be avoided.

Those are the ears, the throat, the spine, and joints such as the wrists, ankles, and elbows.

Now, I’m going to give you and your partner some more time to experiment. If you feel ready, you may want to try bringing in some psychological elements to your impact play, such as a blindfold, spanking your partner while they’re over your knee, or spanking different parts of the body.

Whatever you decide to do, don’t forget to provide each other with aftercare if either of you so desires.

Thanks for listening and see you next time.