The G-Spot with Gigi Engle

Hi there. Welcome to Sex Ed with Gigi Engle. This episode was written by certified sex educator and journalist Gigi Engle. She’s also the author of the book All The Fucking Mistakes: A Guide To Sex, Love, and Life.

Today, we’re going to be focusing on the G-Spot. We’re going to take you through the history of this very misunderstood part of the body. We’re going to define what it is (and what it isn’t) and I’m going to give you some tips on how to get better acquainted with this part of the body. The G-spot is something that gets mentioned frequently but is very rarely talked about in proper detail.

We talk about it in popular culture as if it has some magical or mystical quality. Like it’s this treasured little thing that will make sex incredible so long as you can find it. In reality, there’s actually very little known about the g-spot.

You can thank the lack of research around female anatomy for that. It wasn’t until the 1990’s that the full internal structure of the clitoris was made known. Only very recently have the medical and scientific communities started giving the female body its due attention, particularly when it comes to female pleasure.

While “penis-in-vagina” sex is commonly presented as an accepted norm, most people with vulvas require external clitoral stimulation in addition to penetration in order to reach climax.

According to a 2017 study, only about 18 percent of clitoris-owners achieve orgasm through penetration alone, but researchers (such as Dr. Laurie Mintz in her best-selling book, Becoming Cliterate) estimate that this number may be closer to 5-10% when you consider the clitoris-owners who had they external clitoris indirectly stimulated in some form or fashion by either a toy, hand, penis or pubic bone.

"The “G” in G-Spot stands for “Gräfenberg”, after famed gynecologist Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg, who, among other things, had the “G-spot” named after him and invented the first known Ring IUD birth control device, the “Gräfenberg ring.” It was further explored by pioneering sexologist, Dr. Beverly Whipple in her 1982 (updated in 2004) book, G-Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality.

The existence of the G-spot is still debated to this very day. So, here’s what you should really know about it. The g-spot is the tissue, nerves, and ducts surrounding the urethral sponge and canal. Among its many glands and ducts is the Skene’s Gland. This gland fills with an alkaline fluid during g-spot stimulation.

At the time of orgasm, or even before orgasm for some, the fluid is released. You might know this act of release as “squirting.” Because of the g-spot’s proximity to the urethral sponge, some of the fluid may contain watered-down urine. We still have much to learn about this part of our bodies due to the systemic neglect of female anatomy in the study of human biology.

The g-spot is also part of the clitoral network which makes it part of the clitoris. Technically, it is the part of the clit, or the apex, which is located internally inside the vulva.

If you want to locate this area, you can insert two fingers into the vaginal canal and hook them up towards the belly button, right behind the pubic bone. Using a ‘come hither’ or rocking horse motion, you should be able to find the small textured patch.

You might be wondering, how is this the clit? Well, the clit itself is much larger than the rosebud-like bump you see at the very top of the vulva. The clit extends inside the body up to five inches in some women. It is often the same size as the average penis. You might remember from episode one of this series that the clit is analogous to the penis. If you haven’t listened to the first episode about the clit, I suggest you do so once we’re finished here.

The g-spot is a relevant part of the body for both heterosexual and queer sex. In fact, the penis is not quite the right shape to stimulate the g-spot. Doing so will require a curved object or using fingers. Penises and phallic-shaped dildos aren’t usually curved. Remember that “come hither” motion we talked about using when finding the g-spot? A vertical object is not going to be able to reach the g-spot very well.

Since the g-spot is located behind the pubic bone, a curved wand or fingers are more aptly shaped for this type of stimulation. Oh, the joys of sex! In our society, the penis has often been characterized as the only thing that can bring someone with a vulva to orgasm. Obviously, this is not only a myth, but it’s entirely incorrect. Most vagina-owners experience pleasure through a mixture of penetration and clitoral stimulation.

The g-spot is connected to many nerves in the body (other than the clitoris). Internal stimulation, then, feels so good for some people with vulvas because it stimulates those nerves. And those nerves travel through the clitoris, the anus, and the perineum, basically the entire groin region.

These connections are what make g-spot orgasms possible and so enjoyable. It’s important to remember, though, that while every female-bodied person has a g-spot, not everyone can experience g-spot orgasms. People with vulvas have a very complex anatomy and our threshold for pleasure is incredible, varied, and sophisticated.

Because of these variations, not everyone is going to enjoy the same thing. For instance, some people don’t enjoy direct clitoral stimulation.

Some people prefer nipple stimulation, or g-spot stimulation, or some other combination of many different things. Everybody is different. Alright, so now that we’ve got a solid understanding of the g-spot, I’m going to give you some exercises you can do to stimulate the area. Stimulation is going to lead to more intense and longer-lasting orgasms, so the more you practice, the better your pleasure can be.

First, you want to figure out if internal g-spot stimulation works for you, because, remember, it’s not for everyone. There are toys made specifically to reach the g-spot, such as vibrators, but you can also use your fingers. You should try massaging the area and taking note of how it feels for you, both physically and mentally. You’ll want to try moving in circular motions, going up and down, and even playing with how much or how little pressure you apply.

If you like this kind of stimulation, play around with it. Experiment. It may feel a little odd at first, but stick with it for a while before ruling it out. Some sensations just take getting used to.

So, if you’ve tried some internal stimulation and you find that you like it, the next step you’ll want to take is to get some toys. Like I said earlier, there are plenty of toys made specifically for the g-spot, so you shouldn’t have much trouble finding some. If you enjoy vibrations, a vibrating wand would probably be a good fit for you. There are non-vibrating wands as well, if that’s not your thing.

Some toys have girthier heads for more intense sensations while others have smooth, smaller heads for something a little less extreme. Toys are made of all kinds of materials, including silicone, stainless steel, glass, and hard plastic. Each material offers different kinds of sensations, so keep this in mind while you’re shopping.

Steel is going to have a weightier presence inside of you and will offer a kind of rigid, hard pressure. On the other hand, a vibrating silicone wand is going to feel lighter and give the g-spot overall vibration. If you need some specific recommendations, check out the Bender from Unbound, the Crescendo from Mystery Vibe, and the We-Vibe Rave. All of these toys have been expertly designed to reach the g-spot perfectly.

Once you’ve got your toys, it’s time to experiment with your pleasure routine. When using toys, remember to always use lube. If you’ve got a silicone toy, you’re going to want to avoid using silicone lube as they can damage the toy. Anytime that you’re going to pleasure yourself with a toy, you’ll want to make sure that you’re warmed up with some external clitoral stimulation. Give yourself time to start to become aroused. Then, apply lubricant to yourself, the toy, or both.

You can then slowly and carefully insert the toy into the vagina. I recommend starting shallow and then going deeper if you desire. The best advice I can give is to masturbate. Masturbate, masturbate, masturbate.

The easiest way to explore your body is by yourself. Treat yourself to a hot bath and try to seduce yourself. Discover new horizons within your pleasure. When you finally feel comfortable masturbating your g-spot, bring a partner into the equation. With a second set of hands at the ready, you’ll be able to explore various combinations of clitoral, oral, and g-spot stimulation.

Sex, whether with a partner or by yourself, is one big trial and error experiment. Bodies are incredibly varied and it takes a lot of trying new things to discover what really works for you. Remember, don’t beat yourself up if you try these exercises and find that you’re not into this particular kind of pleasure. It’s not for everyone and that’s okay. The g-spot is just one of many, many places with pleasure potential.

There is no such thing as sex that is best for everyone. There’s no such thing as stimulation that makes everyone feel good. And there’s no such thing as the perfect orgasm. An orgasm from masturbation is no better or worse than an orgasm from penetration.

Whether you enjoy clitoral stimulation, internal stimulation, or a combination of both, your experience is important, valuable, and amazing. You are who you are and that is magic in and of itself. It’s time to set fire to the idea that the right way to achieve an orgasm is through vaginal penetration.

The only thing that is normal about human sexuality is its wide variance and lack of normalcy. Find your pleasure and enjoy it any way that you can. You are normal, healthy, and very, very sexy.

Thanks for joining us for this episode on the g-spot. We hope you’ll join us for the last episode in this three-part sex edcuation series.