The Clitoris with Gigi Engle

Hi there. Welcome to sex education with Gigi Engle. This episode was written by certified sex educator and journalist Gigi Engle. She’s also the author of the book All The Fucking Mistakes: A Guide To Sex, Love, and Life.

Today, we’re going to be talking a bit about anatomy, particularly female anatomy. After a bit of discussion, we’re going to try out a self-touch exercise, so make sure you’re in a private area for that portion of the episode. Our bodies are entirely unique. Not a single one is like another. That means that the concept of what’s ‘normal’ isn’t really going to be helpful for us when thinking about the female body, especially in relation to pleasure.

In this episode, I’m going to take you on a journey towards better understanding the vulva with a specific focus on the clitoris. I’m also going to give you some expert tips on how to practice self-love with your body, particularly the vulva.

Now, be honest with me for a moment – do you know what your vulva is? Could you locate it on your body? If you can’t, don’t worry. Many vulva-owners can’t either.

That’s likely due to the language we use, and don’t use, when we talk about the female body. People tend to use the word “vagina” as a blanket term when referencing the female pleasure organs. However, what they’re actually talking about is the clitoris, the vaginal canal, and the entire outer vulva area. The vagina is actually just the opening that leads from the mouth of the vagina to the cervix. Everything else we call the vulva.

Before we get too deep in this discussion, I want to start by saying that you deserve to be fully acquainted with your body, however it might look or feel to you. And a good place to start for getting to know your body even better is an anatomy lesson. Ready, then? Alright, sex ed is in session.

Lesson one – your genitals do not determine your gender identity. Having a clitoris does not automatically make you a woman. And having a penis does not automatically make you a man. Gender itself is a social construct which exists on a spectrum as opposed to a binary. That means that some people’s gender identities might exist as male, female, or somewhere in between. However, they might identify has nothing to do with their genitals.

What’s more, not every single person strictly has male or female genitals. Some people are born with a combination of both and female genitalia – a condition we commonly call intersex. So, with that in mind, it might not be much of a surprise to you that the penis and the clitoris (not to mention the rest of the vulva) are actually quite alike in both function and form.

In fact, they’re virtually identical, or homologous as the scientific community might say. Unfortunately, very few people are aware of this. Why, you might ask? Well, that’s likely because sexual education is not prioritized in our modern society. We are all, at the end of the day, human beings. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus? More like humans are from Earth.

There’s even more proof of gender being a social construct as opposed toa biological certainty in the fact that we are all the same in-utero. The only thing that determines if someone is born as male or female are their chromosomes. The XX pair determines someone will be born biologically female and the XY pair determines they will be born as a biological male.

During the first sex weeks of pregnancy, the genes in these chromosomes have not yet been expressed. All fetuses begin their development in the exact same form without differentiation. During gestation, the time between conception and birth, the genes on the sex chromosomes are expressed and the fetus begins to develop as male, female, or in some instances as intersex.

These sexual differences are expressed as the penis and testes for males and the vulva and vagina for females. For intersex individuals, some combination of the two may appear. Interestingly, every fetus begins its development as female, meaning that everyone begins their development in the womb with a clitoris. The penis then develops from this structure due to higher levels of testosterone being released.

When testosterone isn’t present, the tissues develop into a vulva, which includes the clitoris and the vagina. So, just to reiterate, the clitoris and the penis are essentially the same thing, just in different forms. The penis can be thought as an external pleasure organ while the clitoris can be thought of as internal. The differences between the two might seem big, especially because the penis is such a key part of the male reproductive system, but they are far more similar than meets the eye. They simply have different positions within and on the body. They’re also shaped slightly differently in order to accommodate their function and the placement of the other internal and external organs that surround them.

Some of the other key differences between the two are that the clitoris’s only function is pleasure and it does not contain a urethral canal like the penis does. Additionally, the penis remains entirely outside of the body while the clitoris extends inside, down the labia, and back towards the anus. Some internal clitorises can reach up to five inches, which is the size of the average male penis.

Because they’re both sensory organs, both the clitoris and the penis are sensitive to touch and arousal. They also both have the ability to give us orgasms. So, not only do we have functional and visible similarities between these two organs, but they also have corresponding regions to one another. For example, the head of the penis is homologous––that’s our fancy scientific word meaning that they provide similar functions––to the glans clitoris.

The glans clitoris is about 0.5 to 2 cm in size. Size will vary, but every clitoris, regardless of shape, size, or color is completely normal. This is also true of essentially every part of the vulva and vagina. No two are the same. It is located at the tippy top of the vulva. It looks like a rosebud, bump, or rounded structure that you can feel with your fingers.

Similarly, the foreskin is homologous to the clitoral hood in that both act as a protective layer for the penis and glans clitoris, respectively. The foreskin develops to help keep the delicate tissue of both these structures safe and sensitive to sexual touch. Thinking about fetuses once again, the male scrotum originally begins life as the outer labia of the fetus in utero. In the male fetus, what starts as the outer lips of the labia fuse together to make the sack that encases the balls. In the female fetuses, the outer labia fills with fat and creates an opening.

The bulb of the penis, which is the bundle of tissue that forms a visible ridge at the bottom of the shaft, corresponds to the clitorial, or vestibular, bulbs. The clitorial bulbs are located internally. They are made from a spongy, erectile tissue, just like the penis.

The vestibule bulbs are two bulbs of erectile tissue that starts close to the inferior side of the body of the clitoris and their function is to aid in sexual function. We’ll get into the details on clitoral hard-ons in a little while. Yes, all people get erections!

So, if we were to write out all of the parts of the vulva and all of the parts of the penis and how they correspond, here’s what we’d have: the glans clitoris is the same as the head of the penis. The clitoral hood is the same as the penis’ foreskin. The outer lips, or outer labia, is the same as the scrotum. The inner lips, or the inner labia, is the same as the skin of the penis. The shaft of the clitoris (which is located just inside the body, above the clitoral glans) is the same as the shaft of the penis.

If you look at the two structures in this context, it makes perfect sense. Clitoral bulbs are the same as the bulb of the penis. And the clitoral legs are the same as the crus of the penis. Got that? It’s a lot, I know, but the overarching point here is that they are one and the same. So, why is it that they are not treated the same?

Both clitoris-owners and penis-owners get hard ons. That’s right, both contain erectile tissue. And when the clitoris becomes aroused, it becomes engorged with blood much in the same way that a penis becomes erect. Basically, everyone gets hard-ons, even you.

Both clitoris and penis-owners experience pleasure from touching, licking, sucking, and vibrations. While every human is different and enjoys different kinds of stimulation, the commonly held idea that males find it easier to reach orgasm than females is a myth. It’s a harmful misconception born from a lack of understanding of female anatomy. The clitoris itself has nearly 8,000 nerve endings––that’s nearly twice that of the penis. It is just as capable of providing pleasure and orgasms as the penis.

So, again, why is that the vulva and the penis are treated so differently when it comes to sex? Why are so many people under the impression that clit-owners can have an orgasm from penetration alone?

So, again, why is that the vulva and the penis are treated so differently when it comes to sex? Why are so many people under the impression that clit-owners can have an orgasm from penetration alone? That’s like expecting a male-bodied person to orgasm just from rubbing his balls. It can happen, but it very, very likely will not. If young clitoris-owning people were given the correct education about their bodies, free from harmful generalizations about the differences in sex, it is almost certain that the orgasm gap would vanish. Not only that, but we’d all be having much better sex.

Now, let’s move on and talk more generally about the vulva. Remember what we said earlier about so few people being able to define and locate their vulva? There is simply not enough attention nor education paid to the glorious, amazing, fantastic vulva. Let’s fix that.

I’m going to start by reminding you that a vulva is not a vagina. They are part of the same interconnected female genital area, but they are not the same thing. Calling a vulva a vagina is like calling a penis a scrotum. It’s just not proper anatomy.

So, what is the vulva exactly? The vulva refers to the external portion of the genitals of female-bodied people. This includes the mons pubis, which is the fatty tissue over the pubic bone where the majority of pubic hair grows, the labia minora which are the inner lips, the labia majora which are the outer lips, the clitoris, the urethral opening, and the vaginal opening. Basically, it’s everything on the outside of the body.

The vagina, on the other hand, refers to one specific piece of female anatomy. And that would be the internal canal that extends from the vaginal opening to the cervix. That’s right–the vagina is just the tunnel that you put penises, fingers, and dildos in. That’s all.

When we call the vulva a ‘vagina’, we’re basically implying that female bodies aren’t worth learning about, or that they’re less important than male bodies. It completely ignores the powerhouse of female pleasure, which is the clitoris. Here’s a little friendly reminder that the clitoris is the only organ in existence which serves the singular purpose of pleasure.

People are often confused about these simple facts because we don’t prioritize conversations about pleasure, anatomy, and sexuality. As a society, we’re sadly still a bit scandalized by sexuality, especially female sexuality. This lack of conversation, and ultimate lack of information, will follow young people through the rest of their lives. They, like many of us, will fumble around not knowing how sex or pleasure really works.

Studies show that denying kids comprehensive sex education doesn’t stop them from having sex. It only stops them from having good sex.

And without the knowledge of how to bring pleasure to yourself or others, how can you expect to communicate to a partner what feels good? You can’t know how your body works until you dive in and explore it for yourself.

Speaking of diving in, it’s now time for the self-touch portion of this episode. Make sure that you’re in a quiet, private area where you can have some time to yourself. You’ll need to have access to a mirror. A small, handheld mirror works best.

When you’re ready, go ahead and remove your clothing. You can get completely undressed if you’d like or you can just remove your bottoms and underwear. Whatever you’re most comfortable with.

Alright, now, I want you to sit down somewhere comfortable. A couch, your bed, a chair, on the floor. Somewhere that you can have access to the mirror. When you’re ready, hold the mirror out to your vulva. Look down into your reflection and just take a moment to take in the sight.

Whatever you’re seeing is completely normal. That’s you. Your special and unique vulva.

Now, see if you can name the various parts of your vulva. Find your clitoris… your inner labia… your outer labia. You might also be able to see your urethral opening and your vaginal opening.

Looking at your vulva might be making you feel a little uncomfortable. That’s okay. That’s completely normal. It might also be making you feel empowered. It might be scary, or amazing, or anxiety-provoking, or any other combination of feelings. Let’s just take a moment to notice those feelings. To just sit with them.

Take some deep breaths to settle into your emotions. Ready? Inhale…and exhale. Very good. One more time. Inhale…and exhale.

Great. How do you feel?

You’re doing great. Let’s move on to the next step.

Now, we’re going to use our hands or a toy, if you have one on hand, to explore our outer and inner lips. Whenever you feel ready, gently use your finger to explore those areas. How is that feeling? Try to stay in the moment as you explore. Notice any feelings, emotions, or sensations you’re experiencing.

Don’t react to them. Don’t judge them. Just notice them. If you’d like, you can continue touching and teasing the labia. This part of the vulva covers the internal legs of the clitoris. They’re packed with nerves which means you’ll likely get a lot of pleasure from stimulating them.

Try different motions with your fingers, different speeds, different pressures. Just experiment and find what works for your body. Alright, now we’re going to move to the rest of the vulva. With your toy or your fingers, just drift over to the center of your vulva, just below your clitoris. Move lightly over your skin. Tease it a little. Increase the pressure, if you want. You can touch yourself in any way that feels good to you.

Now, let’s bring our focus to the clitoris. With your pointer and middle finger, make slow clockwise circles around the clit. You can find it between your labia…and just look for that little rosebud shape inside.

Make sure to be listening to your body. Don’t be afraid to try something else if whatever you’re doing isn’t working for you.

Try moving your fingers up and down… side to side… maybe in a figure eight. Consistency is what’s key to producing and amplifying pleasure. So, once you find something that feels good for you, stay there.

Think about your pleasure as you’re feeling it. Notice the sensations. You’re doing so good.

Now, we’re going to shift downward slightly to the vaginal opening which is packed full of nerves. The bottom of the opening, which is called the fourchette, is an excellent place to tease and touch. Try pressing your fingers around the vaginal opening. Perhaps slip a finger inside. Listen to your body and sensations that you’re experiencing.

Follow the pleasure and let your body take you where it wants to go.

Let’s breathe together as we come to a close on this exercise. Inhale...and exhale. Very good. One more time. Inhale...and exhale. Perfect.

Pleasure is pleasure. If something feels good, that’s great. Do that thing. The point of cultivating a positive relationship with yourself and investing time in self-pleasure is to explore your body, to enjoy sexual touch, and to learn more about who are as a sexual being.

I hope you learned some interesting things about yourself today and that you feel more acquainted with your body and pleasure. Remember, you deserve shame-free pleasure.

Thank you for joining me for this episode on the clitoris and vulva anatomy. We hope you’ll join us for the next two episodes in this three-part series, all of which should help you gain a better understanding of your body.